I weighed myself again this morning and had lost 7.5 pounds since Sunday night. I was so excited about the weight/fluid loss and wearing pre-pregnancy bras that I decided to try pre-pregnancy panties. Hurray! They fit! Then I decided to try my favorite pair of pre-pregnancy jeans. Hurray! They fit, too! OK, I had a bit of a "muffin top" because of the stretched out skin on my belly, but I was in the jeans without sucking in my gut. And if I'm not wearing pants with a maternity panel, I can wear any shirt I want to. I looked like a normal, non-pregnant person!
I was so thrilled that I walked to Matt's office to show him. I hadn't intended to be so active so soon, but I was looking good and feeling good and figured I'd get some exercise and take along my computer to work on my resume, pay some bills, and participate in the discussion in Matt's afternoon literature class. Over halfway there, I remembered that the book I thought he was lecturing on has a really sad portion about not having babies. I considered returning home, but then I remembered that I'm not supposed to lift more than 10 pounds and was carrying my laptop bag full of electronic accessories and snacks. I needed to rest, and I'd be able to do that soonest in Matt's office. He could help me figure out what to do if I didn't think I could get me and my computer home. He was surprised but pleased to see me. So we ate some cheese and crackers I had packed in my computer bag, and I found out that he wasn't lecturing about sad passages today. He was showing his Intro Lit. class an episode of the TV show Firefly. I could certainly stay for that! I worked on my resume while watching TV, got to say hi to his student that is getting married this summer and moving into the house next to ours, and then talked to Dr. Neal about teaching in the fall. He hadn't told me when I contacted him last month that I need to fill out an employment application, so Matt took me to the office where they have applications. By then I was rested enough to walk slowly home carrying my computer bag. But when I got home, my underused abdominal muscles were exhausted from holding me upright while I was walking around and carrying things. I'm going to take it easier tomorrow no matter how good I look. :)
Tomorrow will exercise my social "muscles" more. My two friends from church who I've had coffee and lunch with are coming over to bring food and visit a little. I've assured Beth that it's OK to bring her son because being around the niece and nephews went pretty well while I was in Missouri. Susie said she'll take me to the community garden sometime, even though I warned her about spontaneous crying. I now have time to garden this summer and would like some squash and zucchini. I'll ask the lady who owns the farm what else she recommends I plant. Matt supports my plan to garden as long as he doesn't have to participate. Beth and Susie are both gardening, so I should have plenty of company. I'm also thinking of mini-trips to take and activities to try this summer. I'd rather have Neil, but since I can't have him, I plan to make the most of this time.
I'm not yet ready to blog much about feelings. Some moments are fine; others are not. My mind seems to accept reality pretty well, but something instinctive and irrational in me has to sob sometimes. I think hormones are involved. There are some things that if I think about them too much make me light headed. But most of the time I'm OK.
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