When it became clear that I was going to have a c-section, I turned to Matt and said, "We just can't stop being special." Well, Lucy's "specialness" continues. She's had two appointments with the pediatrician this week. The first was her check-up that typically takes place at 2-3 days old. Because of our extended hospital stay, she had her appointment at one week old. Everything looked good except her weight. When she was born, she was 7 lbs., 12 oz. When we left the hospital, she was 7lbs. even. When we went to the doctor on Monday, she was 6 lbs., 12 oz. A pound of weight loss when you started under 8 lbs. sounds freaky, but early weight loss is considered normal. But at one week, the doctor expected that she would at least be closer to her last hospital weight. So he told me to feed her more often and come back Friday for another weigh-in. I had been feeding her when she acted hungry, but this week I was more aggressive in looking for the least sign of hunger and offering her the chance to eat. We went to our weigh-in today, and the doctor gave her an A+ for weighing 7 lbs., 1.5 oz. She surpassed the ounce a day gain he was looking for. Way to go, Lucy! Her first A+! :) He wants to see us again next Friday to make sure she's still on the right track. We're pretty confident she will be.
Matt and I are both convinced her weight loss was because my milk didn't come in until day 5 or 6 (at the end of the normal range). She was subsisting on the lower calorie, immune-boosting colostrum until Saturday instead of getting the fatty milk. With four days of milk this week, she's gaining weight like she should.
After our first weigh-in on Monday, I was concerned about low milk supply, so I did some research online and watched YouTube videos for pointers. My baby is not as patient as the babies in the video. She won't let me guide her head. Her mouth is pretty small and doesn't open as wide as the babies in the video. None of the cheek touching or lip tickling reflexes seem to be working. She comes at me panting and shaking her head like a dog playing with a chew toy or shredding a newspaper. So I've got a small, wildly-moving target that refuses to be guided and tends to put both hands between us. I'm not sure our technique is great, but obviously we're getting the job done. And she has learned that certain head positions improve milk flow, so she sometimes puts her head in those positions. (I can't make her do it. Whose daughter is she?) When I realized that's what she was doing, I was so proud. She learned something based on experience, not just conditioning. Learning and experimenting are pretty important in this household, so I was thrilled to see some evidence of them in her first two weeks.
Since I'm on the subject of pride and this is a post about weight, I'm going to brag on myself. When I weighed myself a couple days ago, about 9-10 days postpartum, I was 10 pounds BELOW pre-pregnancy weight! I had hoped to break even and actually lost 10 pounds. It's the best weight loss program I've ever been on. The fantastic number on the scales has given me extra motivation to keep eating well and start taking short walks in a week or so. Light housework (folding clothes, unloading the dishwasher) is about all I'm capable of right now. And I'm even more determined to get to the pool in November.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Lucia Celeste Oliver
 |
| 5 days old |
I need to pace myself because I'm still recovering, so I'll end this post. Matt has posted pictures of Lucy on Facebook. I'll try to get some more photos and information on the blog soon.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Trying out my new keyboard
A couple weeks ago Amazon ran a good deal on Kindle Fire HDs. We already had a Kindle Fire that we love, but we love it so much that we'd be really sad if it broke and we didn't have a ready replacement. And the Kindle Fire HD has some features that are really nice. One of them is a webcam that can take pictures. I'm thinking that will be the quickest way to send out a first photo of the daughter soon-to-be formerly (hopefully) known as Elsie. As long as we have wifi at the hospital, we should be able to email it right away instead of taking a picture with our digital camera, uploading it to a laptop, and then emailing it. I tried it out by sending a photo of myself to Matt. It worked very easily. Unforrtunately, the photo could have been interpreted as more sexy than it was intended to be (which was not at all), and I had sent it to his work email. Sure I was photographing myself in bed, but it was a head and should shot. I hadn't noticed that the straps of my stretched out Wal-Mart clearance sundress that I wear as a nightgown had fallen off my shoulders, making me appear nude. Oh well, we get our excitement where we can. :) Another great feature of the Kindle Fire HD is that it is Bluetooth enabled, which means that I can use a Bluetooth keyboard with the tablet, which I am doing right now. Now I can blog on the go without my laptop. It was a pain trying to use the on-screen keyboard on our old Kindle Fire to blog. This new keyboard and tablet set up is pretty spiffy.
Our weekend has been pretty low-key. We've slept a lot and cleaned a bit and finished a few more projects on our list. Elsie has shown no signs that she intends to arrive before Monday. She has dropped enough that my upper stretch marks are no longer stretching. But she seems pretty happy where she is. I've been giving her rubs and bath-time water massages while I still can. I guess I can't blame her for staying put when I'm offering spa services like those. She's been pretty insistent about those back rubs recently. I had trouble getting much done at work one morning because she kept surfacing so forcefully that I couldn't ignore her. And this morning in the bathtub I was pouring water on my belly (her water massage) for a while and then stopped. She started bumping my belly where I had been pouring the water to remind me that's what I was supposed to be doing. She's a girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it.
We're by no means completely prepared for her arrival, but we're ready enough. Now that the lamp with dimmer switch is installed and the bouncy seat cover has been laundered, the nursery is ready. Most of the house is liveable rather than a total wreck. Matt and I both left work late on Friday because we were leaving things in good shape while we're away. Matt's taking a week off. The church OKed six weeks of leave for me, although if it turned out that I needed a little more because of a slow recovery, I'm pretty sure they'd work with me. They've been very supportive and remarkably good at going Mongolian. They also asked if they can throw a baby shower after the baby arrives. I'm very blessed to be employed by Lowell Avenue Baptist Church.
If Elsie doesn't surprise us tomorrow, we'll go to church and finish up a few more projects and finish packing our hospital bags. And I'll get to go swimming one last time. That's not one last time ever but possibly for the semester. The pool will close in early December, and I'm not sure I'm allowed to swim until my appointment in November, and the pool hours aren't great for me, and I'll be a little busy. Next semester, however, I'll be there whenever possible. I may even be able to take the baby along with Matt's help. She already has a swimming suit and swim diapers and a footed terry cloth outfit for post-pool.
Oh yeah! I meant to share that I've got a Wal-Mart registry now. When Lowell Ave. asked to throw a shower, I figured I needed to make a registry that people could use in a readily-available store, and I added everything I could think we could possibly need in the next year to it. You can look it up under my name or Matt's either online or in-store. It's also not a bad idea to give Amazon gift cards. Right now anything left on our registy is 10% off if we buy it. I've said before that we don't need a lot, and we don't. The Wal-Mart registry has lots of diapers and sheets and wipes and stuff we won't need for a little while like an exersaucer and potty chair. I have added some larger sized clothes (we still don't need newborn or 0-3 month clothes) and a few books and some slightly older toys. So there are more options on it than on the Amazon registry.
Well, that was certainly more than I meant to post when I started. This keyboard really is amazing! :)
Our weekend has been pretty low-key. We've slept a lot and cleaned a bit and finished a few more projects on our list. Elsie has shown no signs that she intends to arrive before Monday. She has dropped enough that my upper stretch marks are no longer stretching. But she seems pretty happy where she is. I've been giving her rubs and bath-time water massages while I still can. I guess I can't blame her for staying put when I'm offering spa services like those. She's been pretty insistent about those back rubs recently. I had trouble getting much done at work one morning because she kept surfacing so forcefully that I couldn't ignore her. And this morning in the bathtub I was pouring water on my belly (her water massage) for a while and then stopped. She started bumping my belly where I had been pouring the water to remind me that's what I was supposed to be doing. She's a girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it.
We're by no means completely prepared for her arrival, but we're ready enough. Now that the lamp with dimmer switch is installed and the bouncy seat cover has been laundered, the nursery is ready. Most of the house is liveable rather than a total wreck. Matt and I both left work late on Friday because we were leaving things in good shape while we're away. Matt's taking a week off. The church OKed six weeks of leave for me, although if it turned out that I needed a little more because of a slow recovery, I'm pretty sure they'd work with me. They've been very supportive and remarkably good at going Mongolian. They also asked if they can throw a baby shower after the baby arrives. I'm very blessed to be employed by Lowell Avenue Baptist Church.
If Elsie doesn't surprise us tomorrow, we'll go to church and finish up a few more projects and finish packing our hospital bags. And I'll get to go swimming one last time. That's not one last time ever but possibly for the semester. The pool will close in early December, and I'm not sure I'm allowed to swim until my appointment in November, and the pool hours aren't great for me, and I'll be a little busy. Next semester, however, I'll be there whenever possible. I may even be able to take the baby along with Matt's help. She already has a swimming suit and swim diapers and a footed terry cloth outfit for post-pool.
Oh yeah! I meant to share that I've got a Wal-Mart registry now. When Lowell Ave. asked to throw a shower, I figured I needed to make a registry that people could use in a readily-available store, and I added everything I could think we could possibly need in the next year to it. You can look it up under my name or Matt's either online or in-store. It's also not a bad idea to give Amazon gift cards. Right now anything left on our registy is 10% off if we buy it. I've said before that we don't need a lot, and we don't. The Wal-Mart registry has lots of diapers and sheets and wipes and stuff we won't need for a little while like an exersaucer and potty chair. I have added some larger sized clothes (we still don't need newborn or 0-3 month clothes) and a few books and some slightly older toys. So there are more options on it than on the Amazon registry.
Well, that was certainly more than I meant to post when I started. This keyboard really is amazing! :)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Keeping My Batteries Charged
I've posted before about how taking care of myself is a part-time job in itself. I thought I'd elaborate on that a bit. Most people probably aren't aware of how much of my life revolves around monitoring and maintaining my energy level. Everyone needs to recharge their batteries sometimes, but mine take more effort than most because of a combination of traits and conditions.
First, I live with chronic depression. I have had symptoms of depression since 2nd grade. I started receiving treatment after college, when I was in therapy and started taking anti-depressants. After I dealt with some initial issues in therapy, I was able to work through other things myself. More than one mental health professional has told me I'm "insightful," so I haven't found talk therapy very helpful for a while. But the depression didn't go away. I wasn't crying or sad, but I was lethargic and seemed to catch and keep every illness that went around. My primary care doctor recognized that my body was still depressed and recommended that I increase my dose of anti-depressants, especially when I was sick or getting sick. And it helped. My brain needed an extra boost to help my body and immune system be well. I'm still on daily anti-depressants. I still deal with the physical symptoms of depression even at times that I'm not dealing with emotional symptoms. Mostly the physical symptoms are about energy. I fatigue easily. Sometimes sleep disturbances start the fatigue cycle, and sometimes they just exacerbate it. When I'm tired I am more likely to get sick and have trouble getting well. I'm less likely to take good care of myself. And I'm more likely to have emotional symptoms of sadness, helplessness, and loneliness--though I've never been suicidal.
My already low energy is further affected by the fact that I'm an introvert with some social anxiety. Whereas extroverts gain energy by being around people, introverts use energy to be with people and gain energy when alone. That describes me pretty well. Being with people, even people I like, uses energy. I have no trouble leading large or small groups even with no advance notice. Teaching gives me kind of a buzz before it leaves me wiped out. But it does wipe me out. The social anxiety kicks in in more social situations. If I'm leading a group, I have a defined role, and the purpose of the gathering is something other than socializing. Getting together with a few people for a dinner party, however, is nerve-wracking. The personal interaction is more intimate than leading a large group. And more interaction tends to mean more energy exerted and more fatigue.
So between the introversion, social anxiety, and chronic depression, a lot of my life is about regulating energy: maintaining consistent sleep patterns, taking care of myself, not over-committing my time and energy, and limiting participation in social activities. Unfortunately, these problems affect the way that I interact with people. I don't want to be standoffish, but interacting with people makes me tired, and being tired puts me at risk for illness and depressive episodes. And once a fatigue cycle starts, it's hard to break, so I try very hard to avoid starting one.
And now I'm hoping to be a sleep-deprived new mother. Well, I'd rather be a rested new mother, but I'm not sure those exist. I want to be a mom, so I'll live with being a sleep-deprived one. But with my conditions, I am going to have to try even harder to stay rested and energized, especially because I'll only get worse if I feel I'm failing my child by being sick or sad all the time.
As we near the end of the Mongolian period, I think it's important for people to realize that my responses to group celebrations and helpful, supportive actions after the baby arrives may not meet expectations because of my energy levels and my need to maintain them. My cloistering behavior may seem more extreme than the average new mother, but it's necessary because I'm not starting with the same pre-baby energy level as the average new mother. I have many people in my life who love me and want to help. And I really do appreciate it. But no matter how much I love you, you are a person, and interacting with you uses up my energy. Since my energy supply may be low to start with, my priority is to use it on Elsie, me, and Matt if any is left over. I tend to feel a responsibility to be gracious to well-intentioned people, but for a little while I can't be responsible for anyone else. I may feel guilty if people let me know they want more from me than I can give. Feeling guilty doesn't increase my energy. And if I attempt to meet others' expectations, then I would be using up the energy reserved for Elsie and me. I can't do that. If I have a surplus of energy, I will reach out. But if I only have enough for Elsie and me, everyone else will have to wait.
Specifically, this means that if my energy is needed elsewhere, I may not spread the word that I'm in labor. Labor is draining, so I won't be giving updates during it. I don't want people contacting me during labor for updates. If there is an emergency, Matt will contact the family/friend phone tree as soon as he's able. Otherwise, no news is good news. When there is (hopefully) good news of the arrival of our daughter, Matt will let people know as soon as possible. Pictures and details will be shared as soon as we (people without smart phones) can do it. I don't want to be visited in the hospital. Anyone who drops by our house in the week after we get home probably won't see me or the baby. I don't want to shut anyone out, but I need to keep me together. I want to keep blogging about our adventures with Elsie but may not be able to do so immediately. As soon as I am able to receive visitors and share information, I will do it. But if you don't hear from me, it's because I can't handle it yet.
I'm making my wishes about labor and early baby days known so that you can continue to love me by being patient. You can trust that I will continue to share and be open, that I'm not trying to exclude anyone. I'm trusting that you will respect my wishes, especially now that you better understand my physical/mental situation.
Having established all of the above, I have an update on induction. We were expecting a scheduled induction on Sept. 23, but the doctor surprised us and moved it up to next Monday, Sept. 16. If I don't go into labor earlier, we will be heading to the hospital Monday morning to have a baby. Now that you know when I'll be in labor and when I'll be at the hospital, I'm relying on everyone to be patient, suspend expectations, and let me interact when I have the energy to do so.
A word of caution for people who are really excited about the induction news... We are still going Mongolian until there's actually a baby to celebrate. We learned Neil had died two days before a scheduled induction; in fact, he was delivered on the day the induction had been scheduled for. Scheduling an induction does not mean we've reached a goal. It's just a sign that the goal is closer in sight.
First, I live with chronic depression. I have had symptoms of depression since 2nd grade. I started receiving treatment after college, when I was in therapy and started taking anti-depressants. After I dealt with some initial issues in therapy, I was able to work through other things myself. More than one mental health professional has told me I'm "insightful," so I haven't found talk therapy very helpful for a while. But the depression didn't go away. I wasn't crying or sad, but I was lethargic and seemed to catch and keep every illness that went around. My primary care doctor recognized that my body was still depressed and recommended that I increase my dose of anti-depressants, especially when I was sick or getting sick. And it helped. My brain needed an extra boost to help my body and immune system be well. I'm still on daily anti-depressants. I still deal with the physical symptoms of depression even at times that I'm not dealing with emotional symptoms. Mostly the physical symptoms are about energy. I fatigue easily. Sometimes sleep disturbances start the fatigue cycle, and sometimes they just exacerbate it. When I'm tired I am more likely to get sick and have trouble getting well. I'm less likely to take good care of myself. And I'm more likely to have emotional symptoms of sadness, helplessness, and loneliness--though I've never been suicidal.
My already low energy is further affected by the fact that I'm an introvert with some social anxiety. Whereas extroverts gain energy by being around people, introverts use energy to be with people and gain energy when alone. That describes me pretty well. Being with people, even people I like, uses energy. I have no trouble leading large or small groups even with no advance notice. Teaching gives me kind of a buzz before it leaves me wiped out. But it does wipe me out. The social anxiety kicks in in more social situations. If I'm leading a group, I have a defined role, and the purpose of the gathering is something other than socializing. Getting together with a few people for a dinner party, however, is nerve-wracking. The personal interaction is more intimate than leading a large group. And more interaction tends to mean more energy exerted and more fatigue.
So between the introversion, social anxiety, and chronic depression, a lot of my life is about regulating energy: maintaining consistent sleep patterns, taking care of myself, not over-committing my time and energy, and limiting participation in social activities. Unfortunately, these problems affect the way that I interact with people. I don't want to be standoffish, but interacting with people makes me tired, and being tired puts me at risk for illness and depressive episodes. And once a fatigue cycle starts, it's hard to break, so I try very hard to avoid starting one.
And now I'm hoping to be a sleep-deprived new mother. Well, I'd rather be a rested new mother, but I'm not sure those exist. I want to be a mom, so I'll live with being a sleep-deprived one. But with my conditions, I am going to have to try even harder to stay rested and energized, especially because I'll only get worse if I feel I'm failing my child by being sick or sad all the time.
As we near the end of the Mongolian period, I think it's important for people to realize that my responses to group celebrations and helpful, supportive actions after the baby arrives may not meet expectations because of my energy levels and my need to maintain them. My cloistering behavior may seem more extreme than the average new mother, but it's necessary because I'm not starting with the same pre-baby energy level as the average new mother. I have many people in my life who love me and want to help. And I really do appreciate it. But no matter how much I love you, you are a person, and interacting with you uses up my energy. Since my energy supply may be low to start with, my priority is to use it on Elsie, me, and Matt if any is left over. I tend to feel a responsibility to be gracious to well-intentioned people, but for a little while I can't be responsible for anyone else. I may feel guilty if people let me know they want more from me than I can give. Feeling guilty doesn't increase my energy. And if I attempt to meet others' expectations, then I would be using up the energy reserved for Elsie and me. I can't do that. If I have a surplus of energy, I will reach out. But if I only have enough for Elsie and me, everyone else will have to wait.
Specifically, this means that if my energy is needed elsewhere, I may not spread the word that I'm in labor. Labor is draining, so I won't be giving updates during it. I don't want people contacting me during labor for updates. If there is an emergency, Matt will contact the family/friend phone tree as soon as he's able. Otherwise, no news is good news. When there is (hopefully) good news of the arrival of our daughter, Matt will let people know as soon as possible. Pictures and details will be shared as soon as we (people without smart phones) can do it. I don't want to be visited in the hospital. Anyone who drops by our house in the week after we get home probably won't see me or the baby. I don't want to shut anyone out, but I need to keep me together. I want to keep blogging about our adventures with Elsie but may not be able to do so immediately. As soon as I am able to receive visitors and share information, I will do it. But if you don't hear from me, it's because I can't handle it yet.
I'm making my wishes about labor and early baby days known so that you can continue to love me by being patient. You can trust that I will continue to share and be open, that I'm not trying to exclude anyone. I'm trusting that you will respect my wishes, especially now that you better understand my physical/mental situation.
Having established all of the above, I have an update on induction. We were expecting a scheduled induction on Sept. 23, but the doctor surprised us and moved it up to next Monday, Sept. 16. If I don't go into labor earlier, we will be heading to the hospital Monday morning to have a baby. Now that you know when I'll be in labor and when I'll be at the hospital, I'm relying on everyone to be patient, suspend expectations, and let me interact when I have the energy to do so.
A word of caution for people who are really excited about the induction news... We are still going Mongolian until there's actually a baby to celebrate. We learned Neil had died two days before a scheduled induction; in fact, he was delivered on the day the induction had been scheduled for. Scheduling an induction does not mean we've reached a goal. It's just a sign that the goal is closer in sight.
Week 37 Appointment: She Whips Her Hair Back and Forth
We were busy finishing up the nursery last night, so I didn't post about our appointment. Everything is still great. My blood pressure was good. I'd lost a pound, possibly due to the reopening of the swimming pool and greater effort to cook healthy meals. At 37 weeks, Elsie is considered full term, so if she came right now she wouldn't be premature. During the ultrasound, she breathed like a pro. Our ultrasounds have been long because Elsie has been lethargic; it takes a while for her to move enough to pass the BPP. She's not always lethargic. She's a maniac in the car on the way to the appointment and in the waiting room and tires herself out before the ultrasound. Last week we tried eating closer to the appointment time to see if she would still be energized from lunch, but it didn't work. So this time we ate in the waiting room, and I saved my Wendy's Frosty for the ultrasound. It kind of worked. She didn't go wild, but she started moving her head around so that her hair was swaying in the amniotic fluid. If I could float in water while eating a Frosty, I would do exactly the same thing. :) Whipping her hair back and forth was sufficient movement to pass the BPP, and it was kind of cute. Elsie is still head-down but is having trouble getting comfortable in her increasingly cramped quarters. She rolled over last week--it was painful--and got herself smushed up in a funny position. The ultrasound tech said it's not a dangerous position, but it didn't look all that comfortable. Apparently, Elsie agreed. She rolled again last night--painful again--and probably returned to something like the previous position. I'm hoping that the discomfort encourages her to seek larger living quarters. It will be like moving from a studio apartment to a mansion (or a warehouse--our house isn't fancy and is full of stuff). :)
Thursday, September 5, 2013
LSMFT
Today as I was rubbing my belly--something I do with great frequency--the phrase "so round, so firm, so fully packed" came to mind. Originally, that was part of a Lucky Strike cigarette commercial. I used to listen to the Jack Benny radio program on cassette when I worked for a printer in college, so I've heard the phrase often. In the ad, LSMFT stands for Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco. Right now to me it means L-See's Mama's Full Tummy. It's kind of a stretch to make the initialism (not acronym) work, but it's not bad.
I have read that Braxton-Hicks contractions make the abdomen hard and then relax. It's sometimes hard to tell if I'm having a contraction or if Elsie has surfaced. I'm not sure how much depth my abdomen has, but sometimes my belly is round, and other times it's got a huge lump where her back is. I used to always blame her when my belly felt taut (for which I have apologized), but a time or two I've been sure it was a contraction. But often it's her. We've got each other trained. When she surfaces, I rub her back. However, when I want to make sure she's OK, I rub and pat my belly, and she surfaces for her back rub. It's working for us.
A couple of weeks ago I felt like I had a bruise on my belly. I couldn't see anything, but it hurt. A few days later, several spots were hurting. And a few days after that, I notice that the hurting correlated with little red spots on my belly. Eventually, I figured out that I was hurting because I was coming apart at the seams. I now know that stretch marks really are like runs in pantyhose: they just keep running. So far they aren't threatening my chin, but we've got up to 2.5 weeks left and a baby with an abdomen in the 95th percentile. I started using a cream for stretch marks about a month ago to try to keep them from reaching my chin. It's not vanity, exactly. A non-pregnant belly that already looks like an accordion file tends to keep vanity in check. I just wanted to keep them from getting worse; and when they became painful, I had extra incentive to moisturize. When I ran out of cream, I discovered Tummy Butter. The cream did nothing to stop the pain, but the Tummy Butter soothes on contact. It comes in a tub and smells like vanilla. I love that stuff. Elsie does, too. When I get into bed after my bath every night, I grease myself up with Tummy Butter. And because I rub my tummy, Elsie surfaces for a back rub. It's a pretty great way to end the day.
I'm glad there's something nice I can do for Elsie (rub her back) to make up for all the times she gets bumped and squished. I try not to lean my belly against things, but my arms are short. When I stretch my arms in front of me, my belly sticks out past my elbows. This leaves me with a reach about a long as a tyrannosaurus rex's. It's inevitable that I will bump my belly just going about daily life: washing dishes, typing on a keyboard on my desk, reaching groceries on supermarket shelves. She kicks me when something presses on my belly. So when I bump my belly hard enough to hurt me, I get smacked from both inside and outside. I can't win. I've been trying to do some organizing around the house, but it's getting hard to carry even empty plastic tubs because my reach is so short.
Other than banging my painfully stretching belly on things, I'm doing well. Still no swelling. Only occasional heartburn. No wild-eyed desperate hunger attacks. No more back pain than usual. If my physical comfort were the only consideration, she could stay in there for another month or two without my complaining. However, for her own sake, I'm urging her to try being an outside baby. Perhaps all the banging and squishing will encourage her consider it.
I have read that Braxton-Hicks contractions make the abdomen hard and then relax. It's sometimes hard to tell if I'm having a contraction or if Elsie has surfaced. I'm not sure how much depth my abdomen has, but sometimes my belly is round, and other times it's got a huge lump where her back is. I used to always blame her when my belly felt taut (for which I have apologized), but a time or two I've been sure it was a contraction. But often it's her. We've got each other trained. When she surfaces, I rub her back. However, when I want to make sure she's OK, I rub and pat my belly, and she surfaces for her back rub. It's working for us.
A couple of weeks ago I felt like I had a bruise on my belly. I couldn't see anything, but it hurt. A few days later, several spots were hurting. And a few days after that, I notice that the hurting correlated with little red spots on my belly. Eventually, I figured out that I was hurting because I was coming apart at the seams. I now know that stretch marks really are like runs in pantyhose: they just keep running. So far they aren't threatening my chin, but we've got up to 2.5 weeks left and a baby with an abdomen in the 95th percentile. I started using a cream for stretch marks about a month ago to try to keep them from reaching my chin. It's not vanity, exactly. A non-pregnant belly that already looks like an accordion file tends to keep vanity in check. I just wanted to keep them from getting worse; and when they became painful, I had extra incentive to moisturize. When I ran out of cream, I discovered Tummy Butter. The cream did nothing to stop the pain, but the Tummy Butter soothes on contact. It comes in a tub and smells like vanilla. I love that stuff. Elsie does, too. When I get into bed after my bath every night, I grease myself up with Tummy Butter. And because I rub my tummy, Elsie surfaces for a back rub. It's a pretty great way to end the day.
I'm glad there's something nice I can do for Elsie (rub her back) to make up for all the times she gets bumped and squished. I try not to lean my belly against things, but my arms are short. When I stretch my arms in front of me, my belly sticks out past my elbows. This leaves me with a reach about a long as a tyrannosaurus rex's. It's inevitable that I will bump my belly just going about daily life: washing dishes, typing on a keyboard on my desk, reaching groceries on supermarket shelves. She kicks me when something presses on my belly. So when I bump my belly hard enough to hurt me, I get smacked from both inside and outside. I can't win. I've been trying to do some organizing around the house, but it's getting hard to carry even empty plastic tubs because my reach is so short.
Other than banging my painfully stretching belly on things, I'm doing well. Still no swelling. Only occasional heartburn. No wild-eyed desperate hunger attacks. No more back pain than usual. If my physical comfort were the only consideration, she could stay in there for another month or two without my complaining. However, for her own sake, I'm urging her to try being an outside baby. Perhaps all the banging and squishing will encourage her consider it.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Week 36 Appointment: Just a Big Belly, No Stress
The BPP went well. Elsie showed off her breathing first thing. Fluid was within acceptable parameters. But we had to wait for her to move around. She was resting, not even sucking on her hand. She did move enough to pass the BPP. She didn't do anything cute, but we finally got a pretty good picture of her profile. I was disappointed that she didn't move more. We waited to eat until we got to Lebanon. I hoped that the lunch buzz would make her active during the ultrasound, but it didn't. She refuses to perform for the camera.
Because it's week 36, the ultrasound was also used to measure growth. She's 6 lbs, 7 oz, which puts her percentile in the 60s. Her head percentile was lower, but her abdomen was bigger. It was almost like the head and abdomen switched percentiles. Her femurs are still below the 20th percentile, which is probably causing overall size and percentiles to be estimated low. The abdomen size jumping to the 95th percentile in four weeks was unusual. The ultrasound tech had pointed out that her stomach and bladder were both full. I'm hoping that distended her belly so that it measured bigger than usual. And when you get to the higher percentiles, tiny measurement differences can make huge changes in the percentile. At least this is how I rationalize it. The other possibility is that Elsie is huge.
I have gained a couple pounds, and my blood pressure is great. No one said anything about the cultures from my last appointment, so I'm assuming they were OK. Then we saw Dr. Reynolds. Whereas Dr. Ackermann is happy enough with our progress to giggle, Dr. Reynolds is looking for problems. He did an extra ultrasound at 30 weeks and a hemoglobin test at 32 weeks. At first, he seemed really positive, but he felt the need to tell us all the ways that a baby's head can be positioned that make vaginal delivery impossible. Fortunately, Elsie's head is exactly where it should be. He then was concerned that labor might drag on until a C-section was necessary if my cervix was thick and hard, but my cervix was at 2 last week. No problem there. Since the only unusual thing from today was Elsie's unusually large abdomen, he treated it as a problem. His first instinct was that something was off with my blood sugar, but I've passed so many tests that we've ruled that out. Even if it had developed very recently, my fluid level would have been much higher, and it wasn't. So just to be safe, he sent us to the hospital for a non-stress test. UGH! I was really hoping to avoid those. Given our history, I find that test remarkably stressful. I'm not sure what a non-stress test could tell him about a big belly. Everyone we encountered that asked the reason for the test seemed puzzled by his ordering that test.
But we trudged next door to the hospital anyway. Because I got my Rho-gam shot at the hospital a couple months ago, registering was quick. Checking in at the Women's Center involved recounting medical history. No stress there! (sarcasm) Then they attached the fetal monitor and took my blood pressure. I was impressed that my blood pressure was still good. It probably helped that we immediately heard her heartbeat when the monitor was turned on. For a little while I just reclined with my feet up, listening to Elsie's heartbeat. And then she discovered the monitor, and she was not happy about it. She attacked for a little while, then rested, then attacked it, then rested. I applauded her problem-solving skills but told her she was not going to succeed in throwing off the monitor. It didn't deter her. The good news is that both the nurse and Dr. Reynolds declared her heart rate print out "beautiful." And then they let us go. Hurray!
Dr. Reynolds said we'll do another growth ultrasound at 38 weeks if she hasn't arrived yet. And he said once again that we'll induce at 39 weeks. On the way home, Matt and I gave her a pep talk. We told her about all the great things available to outside babies: back rubs that directly touch your back, sights, smells, hugs and kisses, and the opportunity to bop Dr. Reynolds in the nose for making her do a non-stress test. I even promised to slip her a tiny taste of chocolate cupcake icing. If she's anything like me, back rubs and chocolate will be tempting.
Because it's week 36, the ultrasound was also used to measure growth. She's 6 lbs, 7 oz, which puts her percentile in the 60s. Her head percentile was lower, but her abdomen was bigger. It was almost like the head and abdomen switched percentiles. Her femurs are still below the 20th percentile, which is probably causing overall size and percentiles to be estimated low. The abdomen size jumping to the 95th percentile in four weeks was unusual. The ultrasound tech had pointed out that her stomach and bladder were both full. I'm hoping that distended her belly so that it measured bigger than usual. And when you get to the higher percentiles, tiny measurement differences can make huge changes in the percentile. At least this is how I rationalize it. The other possibility is that Elsie is huge.
I have gained a couple pounds, and my blood pressure is great. No one said anything about the cultures from my last appointment, so I'm assuming they were OK. Then we saw Dr. Reynolds. Whereas Dr. Ackermann is happy enough with our progress to giggle, Dr. Reynolds is looking for problems. He did an extra ultrasound at 30 weeks and a hemoglobin test at 32 weeks. At first, he seemed really positive, but he felt the need to tell us all the ways that a baby's head can be positioned that make vaginal delivery impossible. Fortunately, Elsie's head is exactly where it should be. He then was concerned that labor might drag on until a C-section was necessary if my cervix was thick and hard, but my cervix was at 2 last week. No problem there. Since the only unusual thing from today was Elsie's unusually large abdomen, he treated it as a problem. His first instinct was that something was off with my blood sugar, but I've passed so many tests that we've ruled that out. Even if it had developed very recently, my fluid level would have been much higher, and it wasn't. So just to be safe, he sent us to the hospital for a non-stress test. UGH! I was really hoping to avoid those. Given our history, I find that test remarkably stressful. I'm not sure what a non-stress test could tell him about a big belly. Everyone we encountered that asked the reason for the test seemed puzzled by his ordering that test.
But we trudged next door to the hospital anyway. Because I got my Rho-gam shot at the hospital a couple months ago, registering was quick. Checking in at the Women's Center involved recounting medical history. No stress there! (sarcasm) Then they attached the fetal monitor and took my blood pressure. I was impressed that my blood pressure was still good. It probably helped that we immediately heard her heartbeat when the monitor was turned on. For a little while I just reclined with my feet up, listening to Elsie's heartbeat. And then she discovered the monitor, and she was not happy about it. She attacked for a little while, then rested, then attacked it, then rested. I applauded her problem-solving skills but told her she was not going to succeed in throwing off the monitor. It didn't deter her. The good news is that both the nurse and Dr. Reynolds declared her heart rate print out "beautiful." And then they let us go. Hurray!
Dr. Reynolds said we'll do another growth ultrasound at 38 weeks if she hasn't arrived yet. And he said once again that we'll induce at 39 weeks. On the way home, Matt and I gave her a pep talk. We told her about all the great things available to outside babies: back rubs that directly touch your back, sights, smells, hugs and kisses, and the opportunity to bop Dr. Reynolds in the nose for making her do a non-stress test. I even promised to slip her a tiny taste of chocolate cupcake icing. If she's anything like me, back rubs and chocolate will be tempting.
No Third Buttock Here!
I've had a few questions about a recent Facebook status:
The "third buttock" has cause the most comment. The "third buttock" is a reference to a Monty Python sketch. When I wrote about the "third buttock," it was just a weird mid-body feature to throw into an illustrative list. Now that I think about it, the sketch is about inappropriate topics of conversation, which is exactly what my status post was about.
Inappropriate conversation has been on my mind a lot lately because the beginning of the semester has brought increased opportunities to socialize with people who haven't seen me since May. I understand that my pregnancy is a surprise to most of the people at university functions. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after the semester ended last May. In fact, I was the one who told the chair of the English department (kind of Matt's boss), and I only told her about three weeks ago when she called to see if I could teach this semester. Pretty much only family, church, and blog readers knew I was pregnant. Of course when people see me in small talk situations, my pregnancy is the apparent answer to "what have you been up to this summer?" :) So those people want to talk about it. But I don't want to talk about it. At 36 weeks, I am now obviously very pregnant. And in general, people see my belly as a conversation starter: waitresses, cashiers, people who stop by the church I work at, etc. I understand that people are just being friendly; however, I still don't want to talk about being pregnant.
The status post came about when I realized how weird it is to start a conversation with a stranger about pregnancy. Are reproductive organs a polite topic of conversation? Should I inquire about ovaries and scrotums when I meet people? (No.) Then why is the activity of my uterus something to talk about? Are bulges on bodies a good topic of conversation? Should anyone go up to a stranger and say, "Nice goiter" or "That is the most massive pimple I have ever seen."? Is it OK to start a conversation with a woman by saying, "I see you have large breasts. Did you inherit them from your grandmother (like me!) or did you get a boob job?" (No.) Then why must people comment on my belly? So it occurred to me that there really is a general tendency to keep polite conversation away from the area between a person's shoulders and knees, unless a woman is pregnant. I have theories about why people consider pregnant women of public interest, which I will not go into at this time. But I am a private person, not public property, and I wish that people would respect that.
It doesn't help that the biggest reason people say something is that they want to share in my happiness. And because of that, they ask me, "Are you excited?" It's like people who say, "How have you been?" and don't actually want an answer. The question is nearly rhetorical because any answer other than "yes" would make the asker very, very uncomfortable, and making someone uncomfortable is ungracious, and I try to be gracious. But I also try to be honest. And just saying "yes" is not honest. The real answer is that I'm too scared to be excited. It's all I can do to be cautiously optimistic and hopeful. Letting myself be excited means having expectations and is potentially setting myself up for pain. Ironically, the people interested in the contents of my uterus would be uncomfortable if I shared intimate feelings like those. :) I tend to say, "Sure," meaning "my feelings are positive," which is honest. I don't know how other people interpret it, but it doesn't make the conversation intimate or awkward, so it's working for me.
Thank you again to family and friends who are still respecting my wish to talk about pregnancy as little as possible. As you can see it's even more important to me now that acquaintances and strangers want to talk to me. Repeated conversations drain my energy quickly, and I really have other things that need my energy right now. We're finishing up some cleaning and organizing at home. I'm working part time. I'm trying to work ahead on bulletins for both my churches to cover my coming absence. My garden is getting almost no attention. And as I've blogged before, taking care of myself is a part-time job all by itself even when I'm not pregnant. I've found that recently I've got three modes of wakefulness: hurried (which causes Braxton-Hicks contractions that force me to slow down), busy (which is reasonable and productive), and resting (which lets Elsie play for a while). As soon as I sit down and put my feet up, Elsie wiggles into position for a back rub. Resting is my favorite, but I've got to stay busy or hurried becomes necessary.
Natalie Oliver "has developed a rule of thumb about conversational boundaries: keep it out of the strike zone (shoulders to knees). There's nothing in that area that needs to be discussed with anyone you don't know well (still working on a definition of "know well"). Clothing, accessories, and physical features of the shins, feet, arms (which can be raised above shoulder level), shoulders, neck, and head can be reasonable topics. Short skirts and chest tattoos are not. Ideas (head) are fine; emotions (heart, kidneys, or wherever yours are) are not. Features within the strike zone, no matter how salient, are off limits: third buttock, large gut, dorsal spines, vestigial tail, etc. That these features may stand out from the body enough to enter another's personal space is irrelevant if they are in the strike zone. I wonder if wearing outlandish head- and foot-wear can encourage even people without boundaries to keep conversations appropriate as long as the accessories don't draw attention to a feature in the strike zone. Obviously, wearing bunny ears or furry slippers when you have a fluffy tail is not going to help."The post is written this way because I have not disclosed my pregnancy on Facebook. Last time people got the pregnancy message but not the dead baby message and sent unintentionally hurtful congratulations. So it's best not to tell Facebook until I have good news to share. I had something to say about pregnancy, but didn't want to say it was about pregnancy. So I made it ambiguous and absurd. It's possible to read this and think it was inspired when someone commented on my breasts or the way my pants drape from my ample posterior. Or it can be read that Natalie finally snapped and sees people's dorsal fins and bunny ears but keeps herself from commenting about them to strangers. As long as the post didn't create pregnancy questions, I was happy.
The "third buttock" has cause the most comment. The "third buttock" is a reference to a Monty Python sketch. When I wrote about the "third buttock," it was just a weird mid-body feature to throw into an illustrative list. Now that I think about it, the sketch is about inappropriate topics of conversation, which is exactly what my status post was about.
Inappropriate conversation has been on my mind a lot lately because the beginning of the semester has brought increased opportunities to socialize with people who haven't seen me since May. I understand that my pregnancy is a surprise to most of the people at university functions. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until after the semester ended last May. In fact, I was the one who told the chair of the English department (kind of Matt's boss), and I only told her about three weeks ago when she called to see if I could teach this semester. Pretty much only family, church, and blog readers knew I was pregnant. Of course when people see me in small talk situations, my pregnancy is the apparent answer to "what have you been up to this summer?" :) So those people want to talk about it. But I don't want to talk about it. At 36 weeks, I am now obviously very pregnant. And in general, people see my belly as a conversation starter: waitresses, cashiers, people who stop by the church I work at, etc. I understand that people are just being friendly; however, I still don't want to talk about being pregnant.
The status post came about when I realized how weird it is to start a conversation with a stranger about pregnancy. Are reproductive organs a polite topic of conversation? Should I inquire about ovaries and scrotums when I meet people? (No.) Then why is the activity of my uterus something to talk about? Are bulges on bodies a good topic of conversation? Should anyone go up to a stranger and say, "Nice goiter" or "That is the most massive pimple I have ever seen."? Is it OK to start a conversation with a woman by saying, "I see you have large breasts. Did you inherit them from your grandmother (like me!) or did you get a boob job?" (No.) Then why must people comment on my belly? So it occurred to me that there really is a general tendency to keep polite conversation away from the area between a person's shoulders and knees, unless a woman is pregnant. I have theories about why people consider pregnant women of public interest, which I will not go into at this time. But I am a private person, not public property, and I wish that people would respect that.
It doesn't help that the biggest reason people say something is that they want to share in my happiness. And because of that, they ask me, "Are you excited?" It's like people who say, "How have you been?" and don't actually want an answer. The question is nearly rhetorical because any answer other than "yes" would make the asker very, very uncomfortable, and making someone uncomfortable is ungracious, and I try to be gracious. But I also try to be honest. And just saying "yes" is not honest. The real answer is that I'm too scared to be excited. It's all I can do to be cautiously optimistic and hopeful. Letting myself be excited means having expectations and is potentially setting myself up for pain. Ironically, the people interested in the contents of my uterus would be uncomfortable if I shared intimate feelings like those. :) I tend to say, "Sure," meaning "my feelings are positive," which is honest. I don't know how other people interpret it, but it doesn't make the conversation intimate or awkward, so it's working for me.
Thank you again to family and friends who are still respecting my wish to talk about pregnancy as little as possible. As you can see it's even more important to me now that acquaintances and strangers want to talk to me. Repeated conversations drain my energy quickly, and I really have other things that need my energy right now. We're finishing up some cleaning and organizing at home. I'm working part time. I'm trying to work ahead on bulletins for both my churches to cover my coming absence. My garden is getting almost no attention. And as I've blogged before, taking care of myself is a part-time job all by itself even when I'm not pregnant. I've found that recently I've got three modes of wakefulness: hurried (which causes Braxton-Hicks contractions that force me to slow down), busy (which is reasonable and productive), and resting (which lets Elsie play for a while). As soon as I sit down and put my feet up, Elsie wiggles into position for a back rub. Resting is my favorite, but I've got to stay busy or hurried becomes necessary.
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