Happy St Margaret's Day

Today is Maggie's first name day, and we aren't really celebrating because I have a cold. Maybe I'll take something to church on Sunday. I thought this would be a good time to catch everyone up with Maggie's development.

Maggie is now 6 months old. She sits really well. She's not quite able to sit herself up, but if you place her in a sitting position, she stays there until Lucy knocks her over. She can roll onto her belly. She has rolled onto her back, but she doesn't do it regularly. She can plank, baby twerk, push up onto her hands and knees and rock, army crawl forward, pivot, and scoot backward. She can take a few steps while holding fingers.

Maggie likes to experiment with sounds. When my sister Ashley was visiting, Maggie started making clicking sounds with her tongue. She clicked at Ash and would wait and click and wait until Ash clicked back. Maggie was so proud of herself for learning to speak "Ash."

Maggie likes to look at and handle books, stuffed animals, blocks, and balls. She likes to shake things that make sounds and crinkle things. She sat in the kitchen floor with a package of ramen while I made lunch the other day. She was perfectly happy to crinkle the package while I cooked. She still loves to play with her sister, although Lucy is occasionally to rough, and I have to rescue her.

Maggie is pretty easy going. In fact, she's usually very jolly. She loves to laugh at her sister. She's ticklish and giggles when her clothes are removed. Maggie's laugh makes every day happier for me. As long as she's fed, she's pretty happy. She'll let anyone hold her. She'll sleep anywhere. She self-soothes pretty well. After her 4-month shots, she calmed herself by the time the nurse got the bandaids on, before I even picked her up. She sucks her fingers and thumbs. She is pretty patient, but when she decides she needs something, she can get angry quickly if her needs are not met. If she tells me she's hungry and I walk past without picking her up, she screams. And it quickly escalates to sound like she's being murdered, and she cries tears.

We started solids last month, and so far she'll eat almost anything. She didn't like avocado. We thought she had a reaction to carrots, but it was a virus. She has successfully drunk from a straw, but she doesn't do it regularly. She averages one baby food meal every other day at this point. She likes it, but it's more of a treat than a meal at this point. When I have milk pumped, she's willing to drink from a bottle, which really helped after my surgery.

Maggie is a delight. I enjoy snuggling with her, tickling her, playing with her, and watching her grow.

Magpie

We aren't calling her "magpie," but Maggie sure can talk, and it sure is funny. This morning I was the only one up and was getting ready for church before getting the girls up and ready. While in the bathroom, I thought I heard one of the girls talking, so I peeked in on each of them, but both were sound asleep. That happened two more times before I caught Maggie talking in her sleep. I watched her for a while while she babbled with her eyes closed. And then she opened her eyes and continued to babble. The sounds this morning were normal babble sounds, but she's got some sounds she's picked up from Matt and Lucy. Matt's allergy cough is back, and (as Lucy did at about the same age) Maggie has decided that coughing is part of human speech, so she coughs at us sometimes. She especially does it to Matt because she's trying to speak his language. Maggie has also started making high-pitched squealing sounds. Sometimes I can't immediately name which girl made the sound. Maggie has learned the squealing sound from Lucy, so she often uses it to talk to Lucy. When Lucy starts responding in kind, I have to tell her to stop. Entire conversations of squeals are more than my ears can handle. Maggie coughs and squeals at me, but she also pulls out the "mumumum" sound when she's really hungry and wants mama milk from the source. She and I pretty often have two-way conversations. The most remarkable thing about Maggie's talking is how she mimics sounds. I've heard her repeat "car," "no no no," and "delicious." She's only 4.5 months old. She wants to talk like the big people so badly I think she'll succeed at a younger age than Lucy did.

Maggie's 1-Month Checkup

Maggie is perfectly healthy. She made some faces during the exam but only fussed a little once. She weighs 9 lbs., 1.5 oz. (26.4%) and is 21.5 inches long (40.9%). She's gained about half a pound a week, right on track. There's not much more to report about our calm, perfectly healthy baby. Next month she gets her first shots.

Six Weeks: Growing Strong

Yesterday Maggie turned 6 weeks old. She seems to be getting bigger every day. We'll find out exactly how much bigger at her 1-month well baby checkup on Friday. She has outgrown the Gerber newborn sleepers, which were the ones that fit her when she was first born. That brand runs smaller than others. She's still able to wear newborn size in other brands. She's also starting to wear 0-3 month clothes, which are reasonably loose but no longer ridiculous looking.  Other than some scary nose congestion a couple of weeks ago, she's done well. She still sleeps independently and has started sleeping 4+ hours at a time at night. Her growth is being fueled by cluster feeding all afternoon, mostly while Matt is teaching. Maggie is becoming more fun. She's starting to notice and interact with her surroundings. On Sunday Maggie was interested in my tablet while I was taking these pictures and tried to reach for it. On Monday she took interest in Lucy's wooden Melissa & Doug dog. I put the dog beside her while she was lying on Lucy's bed. Her eyes got big, and she began reaching for and touching the dog's face and cooing at it. When Lucy came to reclaim her dog, Maggie protested. Last night we went out in the late evening to enjoy the outdoors before the weather changed. While we were outside, I put her in Lucy's blue baby swing and pushed it gently. She seemed to like it. She held herself up well and looked around. She then fell asleep on my shoulder as the fireflies blinked around us.

Lucy is also getting bigger. She can now climb the Burger King play structure that says it's for ages 4+. The terrible twos seem to have ramped up. She's testing boundaries constantly. And her new-baby regression seems to be putting things in her mouth, eating paper and licking things. She is still very independent and has strong ideas about how things should be. Last week she wanted Matt to help her into the bath, but he was unavailable. She didn't want my help and started undressing herself. She has trouble getting her pants over her bottom, so I nudged them down for her. She spun around and said, "You no help me. Me pull pants back up." And that's just what she did. When she's not being difficult, she's enjoyable and even helpful. She wants to be helpful. I'm not sure what she was doing, but when I found her in her room a few days ago, she told me, "Me being helpful." She stacks the plates and bowls in the bottom rack when we unload the dishwasher. She likes to help with laundry, loading the washer, unloading the dryer, and sorting the clean clothes while I fold. She also wants to do things with me, so I'm trying to do more projects together, such as baking cookies or making breakfast. Lucy turned 2-3/4 last week, so I'm thinking ahead to what she needs to be able to do as a 3 year old, We're working on obedience, listening, answering questions, table manners, sitting still, and entertaining herself at end of meal and other times. Soon I plan to work on scissors skills and hope to work on potty training again.

I, fortunately, am not getting bigger. I'm not shrinking as fast as I'd like, but I'm not trying very hard. I have started going back to the pool with Lucy. I've been careful to take it easy, mostly just walking in the water while Lucy paddles around. If all is OK at my 6-week checkup tomorrow, I'll push myself more, perhaps swimming a few laps. I've also started cooking more. After people stopped bringing us meals, we lived mostly on fast food and frozen food. We're still eating a lot of that, but I'm trying to expand and improve our diets.

Maggie at 3 Weeks

I feel that I haven't said much about Maggie. I didn't say much when she was in utero, and I haven't had many specifics to share since then. Perhaps it just feels that way because Lucy has ALWAYS had a lot of personality. But I want to try to capture some of Maggie's Maggie-ness without comparing her (much) to her siblings.

Before she was born, we saw Maggie a lot in ultrasounds, but she didn't do much. Because she was so low in my pelvis, we didn't get a good profile picture or see her suck her fist or yawn or wave her hair in the amniotic fluid. She did make it hard on the ultrasound tech who was trying to see her genitals and her heart at 20 weeks. She kept crossing her ankles under her bottom and then putting her feet over her head to cover whatever the tech was scanning. We thought she might be another acrobat. We already marvel at her physical abilities, and the pediatrician commented on how strong she was at her first appointment. Maggie holds her head up well. She doesn't mind tummy time and even makes good attempts at rolling over. She hasn't tried to push up on the hands, but her feet move as if she's trying to crawl. I don't expect her to crawl soon, but she already acts like she wants to be up and about.

Another thing we knew about Maggie before she was born was that she wasn't highly reactive. That's why we kept having to stay late for NSTs. For her first week or so, Maggie just didn't cry much. She is gradually becoming more vocal. Now she protests at some diaper changes and when she's really hungry. Occasionally, she sounds downright angry at having to wait to eat. And sometimes she's got enough pressure behind her bowel movements that they're painful, and she cries about that while it's happening. Despite the pressure, we've never had a diaper blow out. She's flooded a couple of diapers with pee, but that's my fault for not thinking to change her enough. She doesn't cry about having a wet or dirty diaper. Like Lucy, she doesn't seem to care. Maggie also has started fussing and batting at the NoseFrida while I suction her congested nose. But she quits fussing as soon as the irritant is removed. She doesn't seem to hold onto hurt the way Lucy always has. Maggie is normally pretty content. And she smiles in her sleep all the time.

She eats well. We haven't had any latch issues. She doesn't play around or really comfort nurse. She gets down to business and eats until she passes out or even continues to eat while sleeping (swallowing and not just sucking). If I don't sit her up ASAP to burp, she can become a milk fountain. One morning she seemed to spit up an entire feeding or more. That was pretty sad. She tends to burp easily, which is good because I'm not a patient burper. Fortunately, she has never regurgitated while burping. I have learned that if she's laying down and I hear her swallowing her hard, I should sit her up so that gravity can help her keep the milk down.

Maggie likes to snuggle. I've started strapping her to myself in the Moby wrap while I prepare breakfast and lunch. She's very content to be snugly curled up against my chest while I work. She prefers skin-to-skin contact. She rests her hand on my chest during and after feeding. She didn't like feeding while I was wearing a pumping camisole that covered most of my breast. The camisole didn't change latch or position, but she didn't like having fabric between her and mama while nursing. I hope she eventually leans to be OK with the camisole. It really expands my nursing-friendly wardrobe, and I wore them all the time with Lucy.

Even though she likes to snuggle, Maggie can also sleep by herself. To make it easy on myself, she naps on me when I'm resting in the chair. It's easy to deal with cluster feeding when I don't have to keep getting up to get her and lay her down again several times an hour. However, when I need to be up and doing things around the house, she is willing to sleep in her cradle or hang out in a bouncy seat. A couple of days ago I put her in the cradle awake, and she went to sleep on her own. I was thrilled. I'd read about such things but never had it happen before.

Maggie likes her daddy and sister. (Mom--a.k.a. Milk Lady--is obviously OK with her, too.) Matt has gotten her to follow toys held in front of her. Even if she's hungry, she'll often settle for daddy and a pacifier for a little while. And she likes when Matt reads books to her and Lucy at bedtime. She likes to see and listen to both Matt and Lucy. Lucy's hugs are sometimes too much for Maggie, but she puts up with most of the exuberant affection. Recently, Lucy has mastered removing her clothes and decided that she doesn't want to wear anything, even an Elmo diaper. We haven't had time to deal with extra messes, so I figured out how to get her back into a diaper--sister diaper changes. Now a couple times a day Maggie and Lucy lay side by side on Lucy's mattress on the floor to have diapers and clothes changed. They both seem to like lying together. I think Maggie tolerates diaper changes better while Lucy is beside her.

So far Maggie is easy going and sweet. She's not demanding or messy. I still feel like I can tell more about what she is not than what she is. I look forward to getting to know her better as she learns to express herself. Until then I'll just keep enjoying the snuggles and hope that's one of the things she'll continue to like.

Maggie's Second Check-Up

Maggie gained 5 ounces in 7 days. Dr. Mike had hoped for an ounce a day, but anything over half an ounce a day was acceptable. He gave her a B+. Considering the week we've had, that B+ deserves a gold star and a spot on the fridge. Dr. Mike checked her all over and declared her perfect. I expect that Maggie will make greater progress before her one-month appointment. My milk supply was low during my recent illness and just started to get back to normal today.

Speaking of our illness, Lucy and I are steadily improving after almost a week of coughing and chest congestion. Last Tuesday night I could tell that I was coming down with something and could feel the congestion setting up in my chest like concrete. I thought Lucy might be getting sick but wasn't sure until the next morning. I got medication recommendations for both of us from the pediatrician. Lucy got Benedryl to stop the drainage that caused the coughing. I got Mucinex for the cough suppressant and expectorant, avoiding decongestants that would mess with my milk supply even more. We did our best to keep from infecting Maggie. Fortunately, she was getting antibodies from the breastmilk. . I was supposed to push Maggie to eat more often, but part of the time on medication I was fuzzy headed and had no idea what time it was. During those times I just sat on the couch all day and fed on demand. Had I been in my right mind we might have gotten her weight up more. Lucy and I both went without medication today. Lucy might have benefited from some treat. She was in a mood today. At times nothing made her happy. Matt explained this to Dr. Mike, who thought that was normal for a two year old with a new baby sister. Then Lucy got up on the exam table next to Maggie to help Dr. Mike and comfort sweet baby Maggie.. Lucy was very, very sweet. I think we could all agree that being two years old might be a problem, but the new baby sister is not.

One Week

Maggie is one week old! It's been a good week with a few moments of craziness. Here's how we're doing.

Maggie
Maggie is doing really well. She eats well, often and efficiently. She sleeps well, even by herself in the cradle. She burps easily, hasn't had gas problems, doesn't mind wet diapers, and cries infrequently. She likes to cuddle and listen to stories and songs. She seems to like her sister. She's just a really sweet, easy going baby. (I don't want to label Lucy as difficult or high maintenance, but even with frequent feedings, Maggie has required much, much less effort than Lucy did or does.)

Lucy
Lucy has been sick part of this week. As usual with Lucy, there weren't really symptoms. She didn't feel well, and it affected her behavior, making her prone to meltdowns. We know it was illness and not just a reaction to a new baby in the house because we took her temperature and she had a fever over 102. On Saturday, she seemed more volatile than usual. Alice came to stay with us while Matt was at graduation, and Lucy refused to have anything to do with her most of the time. Fortunately, Alice doesn't take such things personally. That night nothing made her happy. She cried and complained for a couple of hours. Few suggestions met with approval, and then she didn't really want what she said she did. That was when we found she had a fever. Eventually, after a bath and some ibuprofen, she curled up under her blanket and with no pajamas and fell asleep. She has remained a little volatile to varying degrees, but she seems a little better every day. The only other symptom is digestive. She didn't poop for a few days. Then her stool was loose. Last night she took her diaper off, and while Matt was getting her a new diaper, she suddenly pooped on her bed and the floor. She couldn't control it, and she was horrified. Bath and ibuprofen helped again. Despite not feeling well, she has continued to be sweet to Maggie and usually remembers to be gentle with me. She also does a good job of being patient. We do have to keep an eye on how helpful she's being with Maggie, but I told Matt that if Lucy were to harm Maggie it would have been motivated by love and kindness. She has started giving Maggie kisses, which is sweet but potentially dangerous because she has a fever. We've tried to limit but not discourage the kissing. We want Lucy to love her little sister, but we want Maggie to be healthy. So far so good with both goals.

Natalie
I'm doing pretty well. I move pretty well. but I tire quickly. I can now cough and laugh without feeling like I'm flying apart. The external incision seems to be healing well. You can't ask for much better a week after a c-section. My biggest problem has been a herpes outbreak on my face, first on my lips and then in my nose. I'm sure it's just the opportunistic virus taking advantage of an immune system working to heal me while being further taxed by stress and lack of sleep. But because the virus is so contagious, I've been unable to kiss Lucy and Maggie for most of the week. I have to constantly wash my hands to make sure that I don't spread it to my nipples or other parts that are currently being handled more often than usual. I've been taking an antiviral prescription, and hopefully, the outbreak will clear up soon. Other than that, I'm mostly just tired. Feeding Maggie every 2-3 hours while also trying to let Lucy know she still has a mom hasn't left me a lot of time to sleep. I'll keep trying to get more naps.

Matt
Matt is healthy so far and doing his best to get enough sleep. He's been sleeping on the floor next to Lucy so that he can help her when she wakes in the night. Lucy has adapted well to cuddles with daddy instead of mama, but cuddles from a two year old can still make it hard to sleep. Matt turned in grades by Monday, so his semester is over. Normally, he would take a day or two to lounge and recover. He's not getting nearly as much lounge time as usual, but some of it is done while holding a sweet, snuggly newborn, which has to make it better. We've done a good job so far of taking turns with the kids. We quickly size up the latest situation and divide and conquer. We each get opportunities to care for ourselves a little, too.

Other than a couple of minor health issues unrelated to delivery and recovery, we've done really well in our first week.

Maggie's First Check-Up

Maggie had her first appointment today. She weighed 6 lbs., 4.5 oz., half an ounce higher than when she left the hospital. She is also half an inch longer than last week. In comparison, Lucy was 4 oz. lighter than hospital weight at her first appointment. Despite her comparatively good weight, we've got another appointment next week to check weight again. Dr. Mike said he's not really worried but wants to keep an eye on it.

Dr. Mike asked if we had any concerns. We only had a few. First, her right eye is constantly crusty or draining. Her tear duct is too small. It's something that should fix itself. If it doesn't resolve by her first birthday, the duct can be enlarged. Second, her nose sounds a little congested, which is pretty common for babies. I just wanted to know if I should suction based on sound or wait until I can see something to suck. She had a huge booger a couple days ago, and she sneezes fairly frequently, which Lucy thinks is hilarious. I'm allowed to use saline and suction. Third, we noticed when we bathed her that she has a divot at the bottom of her spine (in her crack). It currently looks like a second anus. Dr. Mike said it's a sacral dimple. Hers is not big or deep and should be no problem. If the dimple is deep and hairy, they can cause problems. We haven't noticed any other birthmarks on her. Last, Maggie seems a bit jaundiced. She wasn't jaundiced when she left the hospital, but she is a little now. Because she's eating and pooping well, it should resolve soon. If it gets worse, we should see the doctor, but we're going to see him in a week anyway.

Maggie handled the appointment really well. She didn't cry much at all. Lucy, on the other hand, was a bundle of energy. She wanted to touch everything. She pushed the wheeled stool around, crinkled the paper on the table, and ran in circles. She wanted to listen to baby's heartbeat, so Dr. Mike let her use his stethoscope. She heard another baby cry and tried to leave the room saying "baby in trouble." She liked when Dr. Mike poked Maggie to check for jaundice. She kept gently poking Maggie while Matt put her clothes back on. She was very sweet, but we had our hands full.

It was a good appointment. I'm sure next week's will be even more positive.

Margaret Ellen Oliver

 This was written over several days. I'm finally getting it posted.

Margaret Ellen Oliver was born Tuesday, May 10, 2016, at 8:19 a.m. She was 19 inches long and weighed 6 lbs., 11 oz.--not small at all! All her measurements--including her 13-inch h were in the 45th-50th percentiles for her gestational age, just short of 37 weeks. We are calling her Maggie.

We thought we were going to have a scheduled C-section, but this one was unscheduled. Maggie decided that May 10 was her birthday and started coming. My water broke at 4:30 in the morning. The only warning we had was that my mucous plug came out exactly 24 hours earlier. (That was a little dramatic because it had fresh blood in it, but a call to the hospital told me it was OK.) Matt had recently gone to bed but got in motion quickly when I turned on the light on my way to the bathroom and returned a minute later with a towel announcing that my water broke. Lucy was asleep between us and didn't even stir. Shawn and Susie came over right away to stay with Lucy. We got to the hospital around 5:30. They admitted and started prepping me, and then we waited for the doctor to arrive. Surgery went quickly: I was in and out in about an hour. I bled quite a bit because I've been on aspirin, but the bleeding stopped well. Maggie cried long and loud when she was delivered. I got to see her before and after she was cleaned a bit. Matt went to the nursery with her while I went to recovery. We were both in really good shape.

The doctor looked up my latest toxoplasmosis numbers and told us that they had gone down. The first result was a false positive after all. We heard from Louisville on Wednesday that the result of their test was negative for live parasites. Maggie is just fine.

She nursed as soon as I got to hold her when I got back to my room. With my experience and her natural talent, it went really well. She nursed again a couple hours later. Then she went 8+ hours without eating. She just wanted to sleep. Eventually, her blood sugar started decreasing, and we convinced her to eat a bit. Four hours later the nurse brought a very alert Maggie to me, and she ate like a champ again. Sometimes she really eats, and sometimes she just wants to snuggle. She's very sweet. She's lost only 7 oz. since birth. She's had no signs of jaundice. Her hearing, vision, and circulation tests have been perfect, especially impressive because she was born before 37 weeks.

I don't remember exactly how we came up with Maggie's name. I did look for a saint name so that she gets a name day like Lucy does. St Margaret's day (Nov.16) doesn't have traditions like St Lucia's day, but we can make our own. St Margaret was an English princess raised in exile, who married illiterate King Malcolm of Scotland. She read the Bible to him, converted him, and had a great civilizing influence on Scotland while caring for the poor. Her story isn't as flashy as Lucia's, but she was a devout woman who changed a country by reading and caring for those in need. Those are traits we'd like Maggie to have. Margaret is a Persian name that means "child of light." Ellen is a Greek name that means "light." I've been thinking of the meaning of her name as "light from light," a phrase from the Nicene  creed describing Jesus. Ellen also happens to be Matt's mom's first name, although she goes by her middle name, Kay. And Maggie shares Matt's initials (MEO), my doing not his. I don't remember how those pieces came together, but it shows the kind of thought we've put into both of the girls' names. (Both of our girls are little lights.) We also think Maggie is a cute nickname.

Lucy came to see us around 4:30 on Tuesday. At first, she was a bit shy. She's never been in a hospital before, and seeing mama in a weird gown and attached to multiple machines was probably strange. She sat next to me and looked at "baby Emmie." We'll get her used to the name change eventually. I'm still getting used to it myself. Eventually, Lucy got close to Maggie and repeatedly called her "sweet baby." She didn't touch the sweet baby the first day, but it was a successful first meeting. Lucy had a busy day with Shawn and Susie. She handled our being gone when she woke pretty well, and Susie sent me a message that dinner, bath, and bedtime at their house went really well. Matt went home with Lucy for a while on Wednesday. When they came to visit us at the hospital, Lucy was willing to hold Maggie. She wanted to hold her again and again. While Matt or I held Maggie, Lucy rubbed her hair. At least one of those times, Lucy's fingers were covered in Cheetos. Lucy is going to love her baby sister to cheese-dust-coated pieces. Lucy told a nurse "that one sweet baby is Maggie." Lucy watched me nurse Maggie, and she's been told that Maggie only drinks mama milk and can't share the ice chips and Cheetos that Lucy has tried to share. When Maggie cries, Lucy motions for her to go to me and says "come eat." Lucy also told another nurse that baby Maggie "eat mama armpit." Well, it's something like that. The nurses got a kick out of it.

I'm doing as well or better than I'd hoped. By Wednesday I was already moving better than I did when we left the hospital with Lucy. The anesthesiologist put something in my spinal to manage pain for 24 hours. Whatever it was worked terrifically. I got out of bed twice with assistance to sit in the rocking chair in the first 24 hours, and walked the halls on Wednesday. Percocet has managed the pain well, and the doctor said Motrin can be even better if taken regularly. We're heading home on Thursday.

Appointment 36-1: Waiting on Bloodwork

Today we went to Louisville and saw Dr. Cuthrell, whom we've never seen before. They took measurements again at today's ultrasound. By digging the ultrasound wand into my pubic bone (Jenny is much gentler), they got a more accurate but still incomplete look at Emmie's head. That brought her percentile up, but they're using the wrong due date, so we didn't bother to pay attention to the number. They estimate that she's 4 oz. heavier than yesterday's estimate, a little over 5.5 pounds. Grow, Emmie, grow!

Then the doctor came to scan me a little more and talk to us. He didn't see any evidence of calcification in Emmie's brain or liver. The results from yesterday's blood test aren't back yet, so he didn't have more information to go on. The results we have aren't able to tell him when I got toxoplasmosis. With no calcification, it's either very recently or a long time ago, and timing matters a lot to Emmie. The doctor didn't express an opinion about which scenario was more likely. He was not in favor of doing an amniocentesis to know for sure if Emmie has toxoplasmosis, and if we don't know for sure, he can't give me medicine. So what he did was take more of my blood to see if there are live parasites currently in my bloodstream.  If there aren't, then the toxoplasmosis is either an old infection (pre-Emmie) or a false positive, so Emmie should be fine. We'd still have her tested after birth to be 100% sure. If there are live parasites in my blood, we deliver Emmie ASAP to end her exposure to my blood, start her on medication, and hopefully limit the damage. The blood has to be sent out, so results will take a few days. So we're waiting to see if Emmie needs to be born before week 37. The doctor did say that he doesn't think Emmie's size is a problem; she's small because I tend to have small babies. So that's good news.

Over the next few days I'll try to do all the things I feel are absolutely necessary before Emmie's arrival: clean the kitchen enough so it's no longer disgusting, get some extra stuff out of the nursery so that four of us can fit in there, swim while I can since it keeps my back functioning, and cuddle with Lucy because it's one of my favorite things to do. If there's time, I'll transplant squash and buy a few more groceries.

Appointment 35-2: OK

Ultrasound: Emmie did not pass her BPP. She breathed but not enough to pass. We've found that she does really well in the morning and not as well in the afternoon. In some ways that's not a problem. We know we can breathe. On the other hand, after she's born she will have to breathe in the afternoon whether or not she thinks it's breathing time. Since we were already going to the hospital for an NST, we didn't mind that she didn't pass. My fluid was 9.5, so I'm still at the low end of normal. They also checked growth. Emmie has stayed in the 16th percentile. They estimated that she's gained 14 oz., so she's just about meeting the half a pound a week gain that they expect at this point in the pregnancy. The head measurement was still small. The assumption at this point is that her head is engaged in my pelvis just as it should be for a vaginal delivery. When the head is tucked that way, ultrasounds can't measure the full circumference of the head, which is one of the measurements that the percentile is based on. So she's growing and gaining weight and holding steady percentile-wise.

Vitals: Good blood pressure and a pound or so of weight gain for me. Emmie's heart rate was a good 148.

Appointment with Dr. Reynolds: Doctor Reynolds felt my belly and said that if he didn't have ultrasound growth information, he would say that Emmie felt like a normal 35-week baby. She doesn't feel particularly small to him, so that's good news. In this case, his hands are probably more accurate than the ultrasound. He ordered another blood test for toxoplasmosis. According to him, you only have to wait two weeks to retest. If we're lucky, we'll have test results by the time we go to our appointment in Louisville tomorrow morning. According to Matt (I must not have been listening very well), Dr. Reynolds wasn't worried about Emmie not passing the BPP and said that the BPPs are mostly helpful to decide if she'll be born at 38 weeks or 39 weeks. We haven't even considered 39 weeks, but apparently Dr. Reynolds is. However, we see Dr. Ackermann next Tuesday. I'm pretty sure he's not considering 39 weeks. But by the time we see him, it will be 36-2, so it's highly unlikely that we'll have a Final's Week baby.

NST: Emmie did really well. She fought the monitors a little, so she was reactive enough. While we were there, I signed all of the Women's Center paperwork necessary before a c-section: I agree to anesthesia, a blood transfusion if necessary, supplementing with formula only if absolutely necessary, etc. So once we check into the hospital, the nurse said I'll just need an IV, a shave, and compression socks before going into surgery. "Is that all?" was my response. Invasive procedures but no questions or signatures. Sure.

We got home in only four hours and then went out to eat with Shawn and Susie. It feels like we just drop Lucy off with them and never get to socialize anymore. I want to socialize, but we take up so much of their time with childcare that I don't want to tax their schedules even more. It was really good to talk to them. And it's good for Lucy to see us all together. She's been fussing as soon as she sees them because she assumes that as soon as they show up her parents will disappear. She did well with them today after I left. Before I left, he didn't say anything about not wanting me to leave, but she didn't want Susie to stay. I'm sure Susie's staying and my leaving were connected in her mind, but she didn't directly protest my leaving. Fortunately, we won't have to leave her for our appointment tomorrow.

Appointment 35-1: Reassuring

This week was certainly better than last week. Again today Emmie passed her BPP very quickly. We also got to see her swallow a little. My fluid was 11, a little higher than it has been but still at the low end of normal. Today was culture day, so I got swabbed for Group B Strep and examined. My cervix is a firm 2 (not a ripe 2). The nurse practitioner seemed to think that cervical dilation might be another reason to bump our delivery date sooner. She also measured my belly with a tape measure and said that I'm measuring bigger than expected. I don't know if that's bigger than 16th percentile or bigger than anyone at 35 weeks. Either way it's a good sign that Emmie is not as small as they feared, especially since I didn't gain any weight this week. I'm not concerned about a big belly; my belly measured big with Lucy, and she was still under 8 pounds when she was born. After the office visit, we went to the hospital. It was very busy and took a while to check in. Eventually, we got to our NST, and all went well. Emmie battled one of the monitors a little. She hasn't been doing that like Neil and Lucy always did. While hooking me up to the monitors, the nurse, Connie, felt my belly to see how Emmie was positioned so that she could put the heart rate monitor in approximately the right spot. The other nurse in the room (who has felt me while hooking me up to monitors before) asked Connie if she thought Emmie felt small. They both agreed that Emmie doesn't feel especially small. Hearing multiple people say she doesn't seem small is reassuring, the exact opposite of what we felt last week. Connie asked when we would be coming next week, so we told her about Tuesday and then Wednesday in Louisville. She frowned. I was afraid she was going to say that we really needed to come in for an NST at the end of next week, so I asked why she was frowning. She said she was concerned about our toxoplasmosis result because we had enough to worry about already. She was much less concerned--in fact, she smiled--when she heard what Dr. Ackermann had said about a false positive. It's nice to know how much the nurses are rooting for us. If not for the long wait to check into the hospital, we would have gotten home in a little over 3 hours. We still got home in less than 4, so we spent about 8 hours on medical stuff, much better than last week's 11 hours.

Lucy was asleep when we left this morning. We weren't sure if it was better to wake her and immediately say goodbye or to let her sleep. We opted for sleep. Shawn was here when she woke, and I had breakfast ready for her. I haven't talked to Shawn to know how that went, but Lucy didn't seem upset about it when I asked later. Then Susie came and took Lucy outside for a little while. When they came inside, Lucy insisted on taking a bath. After Lucy's bath, Erin came to watch her for the rest of the afternoon. They watched TV, played trains, and played outside a little while, too. There were a couple of tantrums, and Lucy stubbornly sat in the stroller for 10 minutes even though Erin told her it was too hot to go for a walk. But it seems things went pretty well. And we were home before 2:00. I made sure that Lucy got cuddle time as soon as we got home and again before I took a nap and again after my nap. In fact, we're still cuddling.

I needed the nap because I didn't sleep well last night. I was hurting when I went to bed and took some Tylenol. When I woke up a couple hours later, I still hurt. Eventually, I got up and took a warm bath with Epsom salts. When I got out of the tub, I didn't hurt anymore, but I felt jittery and had trouble settling down. I now wonder if the mid-evening Coke Icee I had was too much caffeine too late. During all of this, Emmie was really active. She's never been so active. Part of the time she had hiccups. I was a little worried that all her activity would make her lethargic today, but it seems like it just got her warmed up. I was awake for about three hours in the middle of the night before falling back asleep for four more hours. I think I just overdid it yesterday. I never felt like I was overdoing it, but apparently it all added up and caught up with me.

Our plans for the weekend include resting and cleaning. And I have a little more work to do in the garden if weather allows. I want to get my squash plants transplanted in the ghetto. And I want to plant green beans, purple hull peas, corn, snap peas, herbs and chard in the Pea Haven. That sounds like a lot because of the variety, but the quantities aren't large. Hopefully, we can get the house straightened out this weekend so that if we have a baby in week 36, we're prepared.

Appointment 34-2: How do you spell relief?

Today's appointment went much better. Emmie passed the BPP in 10 minutes. She moved and breathed right away. The thing that took the longest was finding enough fluid. The first two times Jenny measured, she came up with around 7.5. They want me to have at least 8. The third time she checked, Emmie had moved and revealed a couple pockets of fluid, and we measured over 10. The average was a little over 8, so we passed. My blood pressure was good. I'd lost a pound or two because the warm weather encourages me to eat more produce and be more active outdoors. Emmie's heart rate was good, too.

Dr. Ackermann was happy with our progress. I asked what we were going to do about the toxoplasmosis. He said that he thought it was a false positive. He said that pregnancy causes all IgM scores to go up, and my score was just barely positive. And my IgG score was negative, which would be odd if my positive score was so low that it looked like I was recovering from the infection. He also said that toxoplasmosis is so rare that he's never had a patient actually have a true positive result. The rarity isn't necessarily reassuring. We've had other rare problems before. I asked if we should retest to verify the result. He said that you can't retest for a month, and I'll have a baby by then. I asked if treating me would have enough benefits to outweigh possible side effects. He said, "That's why I'm referring you to Louisville." They deal with high risk pregnancies and would be more familiar with what the options are and which make the most sense for us now. So we're going to Louisville again. The referral was faxed to Louisville, and they should contact me in the next two days to set up the appointment. We have to get one soon, or we may have a baby before we can have an appointment.

Then we went to the hospital for the NST. I ate a snack on the way so that I wouldn't be hungry this time, and maybe Emmie would be more active. The nurse also brought me a ham sandwich to eat during the test. Emmie appreciated the sandwich. Just to be sure that she was active enough, I rested my tablet on my belly while I read (she kicks things that rest on my belly) and pressed the television remote to my belly like an ultrasound wand, which also gets her stirred up sometimes. She showed enough reactivity to pass her NST the first time they came to look at the tape.

If we hadn't had such a long wait in the waiting room, we would have gotten through all of it in less than 4 hours, a long time but an improvement over the five- and six-hour days we had last week. It was a much better day than either day last week. The Louisville appointment will replace a Lebanon appointment, so it won't add craziness to our schedule. It may even make things easier because Lucy can come to Louisville with us. She's allowed in the ultrasound there.

Speaking of Lucy, she had another good day. Matt's co-worker (and our friend) Justy kept Lucy for the afternoon. Justy has a 4-5 year old daughter who has played with Lucy before, so Lucy had a good time. She did freak out when she had to get into Justy's red van because it wasn't her own blue car. But she recovered quickly. When we went to pick Lucy up, she was running around the front yard in a nightgown that looks like a princess dress. The girls were playing with a younger girl that Lucy knows from MOPS. Lucy was very sweet with the smaller girl. She hugged her and put her arm around her. Lucy plays with other kids so infrequently that it's always interesting to see how she interacts. Apparently, she's very sweet and big sister-like. That's good news.

I'm still feeling well. Most of the time I don't feel huge or heavy. I've had only a little heartburn. I do seem to go from starving to stuffed quickly because Emmie is squishing my stomach. I still get occasional pains where my stretch marks are stretching just a little more. The nurse thought my ankles were retaining a bit of fluid today, but they didn't look bad to me. I'm not always sleeping well, but it's hard to fit three people and my belly in our full-size bed. I eventually move to the recliner. Sometimes I get back to sleep, and sometimes I give up and do laundry or something else productive. Overall, these don't seem to be bad symptoms for the last few weeks of pregnancy.

Emmie is getting bigger and more active. She likes back rubs. She seems to like story time with Lucy when Matt or I read books to them. She gets excited when Lucy is loud. She doesn't seem to have favorite foods, but she appreciates a meal. I got her to play pat-pat with me a couple days ago. I pat my belly three times and say "pat, pat, pat," and she taps back twice. We're 3/3 for babies who play pat-pat before they're born. We'll see what else we can learn about her in the next few weeks before we meet her.

Our next appointment is Friday unless we get a Louisville appointment very quickly that would replace the Lebanon appointment. We'll be at 35 weeks by then, no more than 3 weeks from a baby if all goes well.

Appointment 34-1: Aw crap!

We've got so many appointments lined up that I've decided to use a notation system to refer to them. This is our first appointment since reaching 34 weeks yesterday, so today's visit is 34-1. On Monday, we'll have our second appointment of this gestational week (34-2). Next Friday will be 35-1. We hope to at least reach 36-1.

Vitals
Same weight and good blood pressure for me. Emmie's heartrate was a solid 140. My fluid was only a tiny bit higher but still at the low end of normal.

BPP
She breathed for the entire BPP, way more than was necessary. She had to be prompted to move around a little. Apparently, morning is breathing time. She passed the BPP, but we went to the hospital for the NST anyway.

NST
Emmie's heart was fine, but she was not as reactive as they wanted, so I ended up being on the monitor for two hours instead of 30 minutes. After they let me eat some lunch, she became much more reactive, and we got to go home.

TORCH
The TORCH panel is the blood test they ran on Tuesday to see if I have any infections: Toxoplasmosis, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, and Herpes Simplex. Unfortunately, in addition to the herpes we already knew about, I tested positive for toxoplasmosis. I have no symptoms, but adults don't usually show symptoms of toxoplasmosis infection. The question is whether Emmie has it.

We don't know much from our doctor yet. He thinks I've caught it fairly recently because the test differentiates between current infection (IgM) and antibodies formed from previously having the parasite (IgG). My IgM test was positive, and my IgG test was negative. Since Dr. Reynolds just has one set of test results that he got today, he can't be sure of much yet. He is going to consult with some other doctors to figure out the best thing to do now. He said he'd call when he knew more.

Matt and I have done some googling to get a better idea of what my results could mean. Here are some options:

Positive IgM, Negative IgG can indicate a false positive, so I might not have toxoplasmosis. (Unlikely, but possible.)  Further testing is likely in my future.

Or Positive IgM, Negative IgG can mean I was infected, probably in the last six months.

However, positive results can occur up to a year after infection, so we don't know for sure when I got it. And timing really matters.

If I had it long enough before Emmie was conceived, then she may not have it at all. (Unlikely, but possible.)

If I had gotten it in the first trimester, she would probably be dead already or showing serious malformations, which she hasn't, so that's highly unlikely.

If I got it in the second trimester, the chances of her catching it from me are low, but the damage if she does have it would be serious. She could have calcium deposits in her brain or liver.

If I've caught it in the third trimester, then she has a good chance (at least 60%) of catching it from me, but the damage would be less severe because most organ formation was already done by then.

If she has it and appears normal at birth, she may eventually have hearing loss, vision loss, motor development delays, and/or cognitive delays due to congenital toxoplasmosis. Patients with congenital toxoplasmosis may develop eye lesions as late as age 30. Matt's googling indicated that problems often present in the teenage years.


The good news is that the doctor tested me and knows Emmie might have it. They normally don't test for it, so it was her small size and family history that prompted the testing, which found this possible problem. I may receive antibiotics, which would also help treat Emmie. Emmie can be tested via amniocentesis or after birth and receive treatment for her first year, which would lessen the severity of the damage.

So what we know is that I've tested positive for toxoplasmosis. We don't know what that means for us yet. It could mean nothing if Emmie doesn't have it. Or it could mean that my gardening caused my daughter to lose vision or hearing or to have physical or mental disabilities. (Toxoplasmosis is spread through cat feces. I don't like cats, but cats like gardens and sandboxes; so I could have caught it from my garden or Lucy's sandbox--although I've seen no evidence of feces in either place--or from under-washed produce.)


LUCY
Although we were gone for 5 hours, Lucy had a good time with Erin Steele. Erin goes to our church and is one of Matt's students. Her mom reads my blog (Hi, Alice!) and her parents let her know we needed help with Lucy. So Erin emailed Matt to offer to watch Lucy today. That was a godsend. We were scrambling to find someone to watch Lucy for an indefinite amount of time on short notice. As it so happened two of Erin's classes today were cancelled because they were Matt's classes, so that turned out well. :) Erin and Lucy played outside and inside and watched Shaun the Sheep. We asked Lucy if she would like Erin to come over and play again and got an enthusiastic YES! Erin came by later to return our keys, and Lucy cried when she left. She told me, "Me sad friend Erin go." And Erin liked it well enough to be willing to do it again sometime.

We changed our 35-1 appointment from Thursday at 8:30 to Friday at 10:30 so that Matt wouldn't have to cancel Thursday classes again next week. We were lucky they could fit us in. Erin said she could watch Lucy after noon. Now we just have to find somebody for 10-noon.

Between Tuesday and today, we spent at least 11 hours getting medical care for Emmie. We certainly hope future appointments are less dramatic and time-consuming.

34ish Week Appointment: A Long, Long Day

I was not really looking forward to having an OB appointment on Neil's birthday, but this one was worse than I had hoped but not as bad as it could have been. First, Emmie did not pass her BPP. She moved just fine, but she refused to show off her breathing. So we were going to have to go to the hospital for a non-stress test. Second, they checked growth, and Emmie seems to have fallen off of her growth curve. Her overall percentile was 16%. It had been in the 30s. Like her siblings, her femurs are short, which will drag down the percentile. (Although short fetal femurs mean little to height as she ages. Lucy had short femurs, and her height is in the 90th percentile at 2.5 years.) We're also not sure that they're getting an accurate head measurement because of her position. That would also drag down the percentile. Her abdomen is around the 50th percentile. At 4.5 pounds, her weight is in the 30s percentile-wise. So there are enough excuses to believe that she's not really at the 16th percentile. And we were told that the abdomen size is a better predictor of her health than the other measurements. But we are us, so they did two more ultrasounds and some blood work to check for infections. The ultrasounds were to check for blood flow in her brain and umbilical cord. The umbilical cord blood flow was fine, but they had trouble getting a good angle on her brain because of how low she is. Dr. Reynold's response was to have them follow up with a vaginal ultrasound to see if they could see the head better from that angle. They tried and tried and tried, which irritated Emmie enough that she was punching, kicking, and moving her head around to make it impossible to record anything about her brain. So they gave up on checking brain blood flow and sent us to the hospital for the NST. Emmie did really well on the NST. The nurse, who I recognized from Lucy's birth because she LOVED Lucy, was impressed with her heart read-out. Emmie fought the fetal monitor a little, but I think she was worn out from protesting the vaginal ultrasound. The lab tech who took my blood was really nice and took extra just in case they thought of something else to test, which knowing doctor Reynolds was a good idea.

Dr. Reynolds decided that we should start going for BPPs twice a week and despite whether Emmie passes them or not, we'll also go to the hospital for non-stress tests (NSTs) every time. We had weekly appointments already set, but they had to scramble and double book ultrasounds for the Thursday appointments, which they couldn't always get at times which work well with Matt's schedule. So he's going to have to cancel classes, and we're going to have to find childcare for Lucy because we can't expect Shawn and Susie to drop everything twice a week for keep her. And we won't know for sure how long we'll need someone to watch her each time. If they've double-booked the ultrasounds, I'm not sure how long we'll have to wait. The BPPs can take as long as 30 minutes. Then we'll see a doctor. Then we'll check into the hospital for an NST that takes at least 30 more minutes. And hopefully, they find nothing wrong at any point, or they'll admit me to the hospital to get Emmie out. And taking Lucy with us isn't a good option with the NSTs being done in the hospital, even if Matt was willing to miss the ultrasound to keep Lucy in the waiting room. He'd have to keep Lucy out of the hospital, too. And both Matt and I want him present for anything in the future because there's actually a chance they'll find something and get Emmie out. And we'd have to do something with Lucy if they admitted me to the hospital. If it was an emergency, Matt might not get to be in the OR because he would be keeping or transporting Lucy. It's a lot to deal with and plan for.

I was pretty bummed by all of this and cried quite a bit. I was not emotionally ready for any bad news. They did admit that almost all of the precautions they are taking are because of Neil. Emmie's situation without our history would not cause this much alarm. But the last time we had a small baby, he died. He didn't die because he was small, but ultimately the problem was a blood flow issue. And if Emmie isn't growing, she might have a blood flow issue, too. The specialist in Louisville considered that I just have consistently under-performing placenta. If I had any doubt before (and I didn't really), today convinced me that this is my last placenta. We're not going through all of this again.

On the bright side, I lost a couple of pounds last week because of increased consumption of fresh produce and increased activity in my garden. And my blood pressure was fine and got better each time it was taken. And my fluid level was a little higher but still at the lower end of normal. If fluid dramatically increases or decreases, they'll get Emmie out. In fact, we're now doubting that we'll make it to 38 weeks. If they find the least reason to get her out at or after 36 weeks, they'll do it.

Lucy had a better day today than she did last Tuesday. She still cried when she was put into the red car. She legitimately does not like to ride in a car that is not her blue car. Because she had done it last week and she wasn't in quite as bad of a mood today, the crying was not as severe. She was also heading to the park with Shawn, which may have helped a little, too. She had already told us this morning that she wanted to go to the park. According to Shawn, they had a pretty good day. There were a few tantrums and other two-year-old behavior, but she didn't melt down or destroy anything. And she seemed to have a good time.

Now I just want to go to sleep. I'm worn out. Tomorrow I'll try to find someone to watch Lucy. Tomorrow I'll try to get more done around the house just in case. Tonight I'm taking a Tylenol PM and getting as much sleep as possible so that I have the energy to deal with tomorrow's problems.

33ish Week Appointment

All is well with me (gained a little weight, lower blood pressure and fluid are still within acceptable range) and Emmie (passed her BPP much more quickly). Dr. Ackermann says I don't need a DTAP because I got one when I had Lucy. To clarify exactly what date we were looking at as 38 weeks since our weeks change on Wednesdays while they normally schedule c-sections for Monday mornings, I asked whether we would be going on the Monday that is 37 weeks, 5 days or the Monday that is 38, weeks 5 days. He said we'd go on Wednesday when we're officially at 38 weeks. The date doesn't matter much to him he said, but the government is keeping an eye on early deliveries because some doctors have scheduled deliveries for their own convenience at the expense of newborn health. He said we can go ahead and schedule the c-section. The receptionist did not schedule it yet, and Dr. Reynolds may come up with a reason for a Monday delivery, so nothing is set. Wednesday would give Matt a couple days to recover from the semester and help me with final house preparations, and it would mean that Susie would get back in time to help with Lucy. That would be good. Of course, all that assumes that we don't run into problems before then. Dr. Ackermann said that if my fluids are low or I'm having contractions at 36 weeks, they'll get Emmie out. And I'm with Matt; if it was safe to get her out today, we'd vote for that. I want her to be fully developed and healthy, but I also want her to be alive, which she certainly is today.

The possibility that Susie would be back in time to help with Lucy could not have come on a better day. We experienced why you really need two people to keep up with Lucy. Lucy had a rough day and made Susie's day pretty rough, too. Lucy was tired and out of sorts but excited to play with Shawn and Susie, so I thought everything would be OK. Then we started hooking up the car seat in Susie's car, and Lucy lost it. She screamed and cried and tried to run away. "No ride in Susie's red car. Me ride blue car." She has ridden with Susie before, so this was unexpected. We had to hold her down to get her into the car seat. I could tell that she would fall asleep in the car. I had estimated 5-7 minutes. Apparently, she screamed for 15 minutes. She would start to doze and rouse herself to scream some more. Eventually, she did sleep until Susie had to stop for gas. Then the crying started again. When Shawn got out of a meeting, they took Lucy to a park, and she was happy to run around. Susie told Shawn it was his job to get her back into the car. Shawn just said, "Lucy, do you want to go see your mom? Let's get in the car." And she hopped right in. I'm sure the incentive was important, but the asker probably also affected the outcome. Lucy would do nearly anything for Shawn. He keeps marvelling at how weird it is to have a girl like him and want to sit by him. Well, most girls don't have the bearded, bespectacled academic as their paradigm for manhood. To Lucy it's just like having another daddy in a slightly different shade. :) And Lucy loves her daddy. However, no one is like mama. Mama is just barely a separate person from Lucy, so it's not possible to have mama in another shade, even though Susie would be a good fit for "mama in a different shade" if such a thing were possible.

It was tough to see Lucy so unhappy when we left. I knew she would be fine. She would be safe and cared for and loved. I was also pretty sure that my leaving was not exactly what was causing the meltdown. She was tired, and her idea of what was going to happen was not being met. If we had dropped her at their house or left her on campus in the stroller, she probably wouldn't have shed a tear. She did talk this evening a little about how mama and daddy were gone today. That seemed to bother her only a little. She was adamant, however, that she did not want to ride in the red car again. Appparently, her attachment to our car was more important than her attachment to her parents. :) We'll work on the car thing.

Mechanical and Technological Disappointments

First, the used double stroller I got will be of limited use. I got it cleaned up and took Lucy for a ride and discovered that the stroller was wobbly and pulling to the right. I stopped and checked the wheels and found one of them was bent. I immediately turned back around and went home. I tried to straighten out the wheel, but I may have made it worse. I don't remember the wheel being bent when I got it, but I didn't really try it out. It's also possible that the wheel bent when Lucy got into the stroller before it was fully open and it closed on her and fell over. I quickly pulled her out, and one of the wheels popped off. I easily put the wheel back on, but it might have been bent in all of the excitement. The stroller is probably good enough for going to the pool for a while. I'm not sure I'd want to fight the pulling to the right all the way to Matt's office, especially since I'd have to fight it all the way home from his office. We'll still probably get $20 of use out of it just going to the pool, but it's not going to be a long-term stroller for us. We will need another stroller.

My other disappointment is my search for an inexpensive device that can run the Ibotta app. Ibotta gives rebates when you buy certain products and scan your receipt. Because it's a rebate, it can be stacked with sales and coupons to get really good deals. Recently, there was a $5 off diapers rebate. That would have been nice. But the app requires Android version 3.0 or higher and a rear-facing camera with auto-focus. We don't own smart phones, and our Android tablets run a proprietary version from Amazon because they are Kindle Fires. There are plenty of cheap tablets with new enough version of Android, but they don't meet the camera requirements. I've had trouble finding a tablet for less than $200 that does meet the requirements. I can't justify a $200 tablet so that I can save $5 on diapers. I looked into Apple products that can run the app, but they have to be fairly new, which mean expensive. I even looked for used ones on Ebay since I don't mind some physical imperfections. But if you'd like to actually be able to read the screen and use the device because it's not already attached to some unknown account, it will cost over $100. Still not cheap enough for a device just to run a rebate app. So if you have a smart phone, Ibotta is great. If you're thrifty and don't have fairly up-to-date devices, you can't save money with Ibotta. That's disppointing.

Reasonable Pain

I'm understandably anxious about my health while pregnant. I try to limit my fears to reasonable ones. There are so many to have. It seems that everything is dangerous for pregnant women. We should all be packed in bubble wrap and fed a safe solution of necessary nutrients so that we don't accidentally eat fish with too much mercury or lettuce or lunch meat with listeria (one I do worry about after the salad recall that cleared Kroger's shelves) or cats (a joke from my first visit with nurse during my first pregnancy). Every visit with my OB includes a list of things to watch for and entreaties to come to the hospital if I have any of those problems. I always tell them, "Don't worry. If anything is troubling, I will absolutely come to the hospital." The trouble is figuring out whether something is troubling. Blood is always troubling and would, of course, send me to the hospital. But what about the symptoms for preeclampsia? Headache and swelling of face, hands, or feet. Is every headache a potential problem? If I have a headache and swollen ankles (fairly common late in pregnancy), is that a problem? And since my cervix was measured and found short, which tends to happen in women with a history of pre-term labor, should I scrutinize every ache and pain to make sure it's not a contraction? If I have a headache, I ask Matt if I look puffy. He's honest, so I don't worry about his saying, "No, dear, you look radiant." If I hurt, I sit down and sometimes take some Tylenol. Tylenol wouldn't do anything for labor pains, so if it helps, I'm probably not in labor. I also try to consider what I was doing before the pain started. Did I over-exert? Did I lift something lighter than a cast iron dutch oven that was still too heavy for me?

So today I hurt and had a headache. I was fairly certain that both were caused by unusual exertion, but I hurt pretty bad. The unusual exertion was running across campus to catch Lucy. She wanted to play on the steps under the clock tower (one of her favorite things to do) while Matt dropped off some paperwork at an office, so I said I could handle watching her while she played on the steps. We were fine for a while. Then she headed down the sidewalk between the theater and Carter Hall. I followed. She picked up speed, so I told her to stop. That's when she bolted. She ran downhill toward the chapel, which is bordered on two sides by roads and on another side by a parking lot. She turned toward the road she would have to cross to get to Chik-Fil-A. I ran as fast as I could and faster than I should have to catch her before she got to the road. Just in front of the chapel, I grabbed her hair because that was what I could reach and stopped her. Both panting, we collapsed in the grass. "Mama pull me hair" was Lucy's response. "I can't take you anywhere. I can't keep up with you to keep you safe" was my response. If I can't watch her for a few minutes on campus, I really can't take her anywhere. What if I had fallen? What if I hadn't reached Lucy before she reached the road? I took her hand and walked her back up the hill with only a little protest from her, which is fortunate because I couldn't have carried her up the hill. We would have had to sit and wait for Matt to find us.

So I hurt bad. I had a headache. I felt like I had strained something in my lower abdomen. My back hurt, both through my ribs and my lower back. I started having small back spasms, which were potentially concerning after the back labor I had with Lucy. Quite honestly, everything below my hair and above my knees hurt. I was also a little worried about the jostling that Emmie got, but she didn't seem to mind. She's stayed perky this afternoon and evening. I took Tylenol and lay down for a nap after we got home. I woke up about 45 minutes later and still hurt, so I rolled over and napped some more. A little later, I felt a little better but still hurt, so I rolled over and napped some more. I napped until I stopped hurting. I'm still a little sore and stiff and have taken more Tylenol. The good news is that this is reasonable pain with an identifiable cause, not the alarming kind that would send me to the hospital. But until the Tylenol and napping kicked in, I was a bit worried as well as sore and exhausted. That's not a fun combination.

Lucy is indefinitely grounded, especially since telling her to stop made her run. I'm not taking her anywhere alone without her being strapped into a stroller or cart. I can't do it while I'm pregnant or recovering or hauling around a newborn. I like for her to move around and explore, but keeping her alive and safe is a higher priority. I'm sure it will hurt her feelings sometimes that mama won't let her run, but that, too, is a reasonable pain.

Sweet Baby

Very gradually, I've been getting things ready for Emmie's arrival. I've washed all the newborn clothes and some of the 0-3 month clothes and put them away in drawers. Yesterday, I marked a couple more things off my list. I cleared all of the stuff that had accumulated on the changing table, wiped it down, tightened the screws, and put a clean cover on the changing pad.

When Lucy saw it, she was very excited about the changing table and ran to get one of her dolls. She announced that her baby was poopy and needed to be changed on the changing table. I got her a stool and helped her buckle the belt (the "feetbelt" as Lucy called it). She undressed her baby, took the diaper off, and asked for a wipe. I got her a wipe, and she wiped the babies bottom thoroughly and announced, "All treen (clean)." She is unable to dress or diaper the baby by herself, so I did that part. Within three minutes, that baby doll was poopy again, and we went through the same routine again. And three minutes later, it happened again. Poopy baby was THE game to play all day and part of this morning. She did take a break yesterday when the baby needed to sleep on the changing table. Lucy kept saying something that sounded like "sheep dreams," which with her is a real possibility. Eventually, I figured out that she was saying "sweet dreams" as she was tucking the baby in. She must have picked it up from TV because we don't say that to her. I tend to say "sleep well" because I care more about the quality of her sleep than the flavor of her dreams. A little while later Lucy stood beside the changing table rubbing the baby's head saying, "Sweet baby. Sweet baby." Now that sounds like something she's heard. When Matt came home, he got to be the one who diapered and dressed the poopy baby. It was very cute and very sweet of Lucy to be so nurturing. Her first instinct when something isn't right iss to help or to fix it. If a baby in a store cries, she wants to help. If something on a TV program breaks, she wants to fix it. If someone in a book is dirty, she wasnts to help them wash. If she spills someting, she wants to clean it. In fact , she did that today at Shawn and Susie's. They had some clean laundry sitting out, and Lucy grabbed a pair of pants to clean up something she spilled. Now we need to teach her to do laundry. Actually, she does help me put clothes into the washer and dryer, so she would have been happy to help wash the pants.

(She also counted to 15 that day. It was a big day for her.)

After the changing table, I dusted corners and walls, washed and rehung the curtains, and swept a little. I still need to do some tidying and clean the floors thoroughly. We need to put in some shelving, convert the crib to a toddler bed for Lucy, and move the cradle into the nursery. Then at least the nursery will be ready. Once that's in good shape, I'll turn my attention to the rest of the house.

It feels like things are coming together. And it makes me feel good knowing that Lucy wants to be nurturuing and helpful. I'm still concerned about caring for two kids, especially while I'm recovering. I know Matt will take care of most things, but sometimes only mama will do, and I want to be able to cuddle and interact with both of my girls. We'll make it work somehow.

Down to the Wire

Today we started weekly appointments with ultrasounds for biophysical profiles (BPPs). To pass the BPP, Emmie has to move a little and show off her breathing skills. She was reluctant to do either. She moved a little when Jenny (the ultrasound tech who we've gotten to know fairly well because of all of our BPPs through 3 pregnancies) poked my belly with the ultrasound wand. Emmie wasn't seriously disturbed, but she wiggled a little. And she tried breathing once. There's a certain number of times she's supposed to breathe within a certain time period. So we waited for her to breathe some more. And we waited. And we waited. And I turned on my side to see if that would get her to do something. It didn't. And we tried talking. And I tried humming. I tried sucking snot from my sinuses to my throat, which sometimes gets me kicked (but not all the time like Neil used to do). Nothing we did seemed to matter much. And I didn't have any snacks with me to try eating something. Then I asked what the likelihood of having to go to the hospital for a non-stress test was if Emmie didn't show off her breathing in time. The answer was 100% if she doesn't breathe in the next 25 seconds. I find non-stress tests to be very stressful, so I sat up a little and said, "Breathe, Emmie. We don't want to go to the hospital." And she started breathing. And she passed her BPP at the last second. Whew! My fluid was on the low side of normal, which for me is better than the high end of normal, which might signal a blood sugar issue, which they are looking for.

My blood pressure was excellent. My weight gain was reasonable, especially considering all the fast food we've eaten in the last week while I've been in a funk. Dr. Reynolds is very pleased with how things were going. And he thinks that Paul Ryan will be the Republican nominee for president. It's one of the least far-out things he's probably ever said to us while talking about something non-pregnancy. :)

I also asked about what he was thinking about timing for Emmie's arrival. We have been assuming 38 weeks (like with Lucy) unless they get antsy and move it to 37 weeks or unless at any visit in the next 8 weeks there's a problem that indicates that immediate delivery is best. He seemed to think the 37 week idea was crazy. I was asking because Susie has to be out of town on the Monday of 38 weeks, the likely delivery date. So Shawn would have Lucy by himself... overnight. Lucy loves Shawn, and Shawn loves Lucy, so we know they'd be fine together, but Lucy with one caregiver at night can be a handful. If worse came to worst, Matt could go home at night. I think we'd both feel better if he could stay at the hospital with me for at least the first 24 hours. But if the c-section is first thing in the morning, then he could be around for at least the first 12 and come back the next morning. We'll make it work. We've got about a month to work the kinks out of our plan and attempt any necessary behavior modifications for Lucy (or Shawn for that matter). :)

It was another long day, but because Emmie passed her BPP, it wasn't as long as it could have been. Hopefully, she doesn't put us through this every week.