Post-Pregnancy Digestion

As I figured out my digestive issues after Lucy was born, I realized that each pregnancy slowed my digestion and altered my IBS: from IBS with diarrhea before Neil to something like normal after and then to IBS with constipation after Lucy. I hoped that Maggie wouldn't slow things further, and I don't have an answer to that yet. Until last night, I would have said things weren't running slow; however, my other health issues might have affected me. While I was congested, I was swallowing what I coughed up so that the mucous wouldn't come into contact with anyone or anything and spread the infection. But that made my stomach kind of upset and caused loose stool for several days. Throughout my pregnancy, I took stool softeners every day, and they worked. I didn't throw up or need an enema to relieve constipation that was keeping my stomach from emptying. I've continued the stool softeners and hoped for continued good results. 

But last night after our family walk, I started hurting. I didn't feel like I was going to vomit, but the pain felt like a combination of back pain and digestive problems. Doing the stretches the chiropractor showed me helped a bit before bed, but I woke in the middle of the night in serious pain. I put Maggie in a bouncy seat in the bathroom while I tried to feel better. I thought I might need to go to the chiropractor first thing Saturday morning. I decided that the one thing I could try immediately was an enema. If it helped, I might get to sleep. If it didn't help, I'd just get help for my back as soon as possible. So the enema did its work, and I still felt bad. I took a couple of Motrin, which I figured would help back pain but not do much for gall bladder pain. Once again, I'd either get relief or more information about my condition. I took Maggie back to the recliner and suffered as she leaned against my abdomen while nursing. When the back spasms started, I started composing a text to Mom to pray. And then I felt a gurgle in my intestines, and all of the pain and spasms suddenly and completely stopped. I was fine for the rest of the night. So it seems that constipation is still causing me problems and is doing so despite higher than maximum doses of stool softeners. I had some urgent bowel movements later this morning, but that seems to have settled down. So I don't know if my condition is significantly worse, but I definitely need to see a doctor to see if we can get this straightened out. Fortunately, I've met my deductible for the year by having a baby, so anything I get fixed is free from now on. 

My back is also a problem while I'm recovering from surgery. I'm sure I'm using my back muscles in unusual ways to compensate for weak abs. I need to slow down a bit, carry Maggie less, and slowly build strength. I'm really looking forward to getting back to the pool after my 6-week check up. Moving in the water does more for my back than anything else I've tried.

Maggie's Second Check-Up

Maggie gained 5 ounces in 7 days. Dr. Mike had hoped for an ounce a day, but anything over half an ounce a day was acceptable. He gave her a B+. Considering the week we've had, that B+ deserves a gold star and a spot on the fridge. Dr. Mike checked her all over and declared her perfect. I expect that Maggie will make greater progress before her one-month appointment. My milk supply was low during my recent illness and just started to get back to normal today.

Speaking of our illness, Lucy and I are steadily improving after almost a week of coughing and chest congestion. Last Tuesday night I could tell that I was coming down with something and could feel the congestion setting up in my chest like concrete. I thought Lucy might be getting sick but wasn't sure until the next morning. I got medication recommendations for both of us from the pediatrician. Lucy got Benedryl to stop the drainage that caused the coughing. I got Mucinex for the cough suppressant and expectorant, avoiding decongestants that would mess with my milk supply even more. We did our best to keep from infecting Maggie. Fortunately, she was getting antibodies from the breastmilk. . I was supposed to push Maggie to eat more often, but part of the time on medication I was fuzzy headed and had no idea what time it was. During those times I just sat on the couch all day and fed on demand. Had I been in my right mind we might have gotten her weight up more. Lucy and I both went without medication today. Lucy might have benefited from some treat. She was in a mood today. At times nothing made her happy. Matt explained this to Dr. Mike, who thought that was normal for a two year old with a new baby sister. Then Lucy got up on the exam table next to Maggie to help Dr. Mike and comfort sweet baby Maggie.. Lucy was very, very sweet. I think we could all agree that being two years old might be a problem, but the new baby sister is not.

One Week

Maggie is one week old! It's been a good week with a few moments of craziness. Here's how we're doing.

Maggie
Maggie is doing really well. She eats well, often and efficiently. She sleeps well, even by herself in the cradle. She burps easily, hasn't had gas problems, doesn't mind wet diapers, and cries infrequently. She likes to cuddle and listen to stories and songs. She seems to like her sister. She's just a really sweet, easy going baby. (I don't want to label Lucy as difficult or high maintenance, but even with frequent feedings, Maggie has required much, much less effort than Lucy did or does.)

Lucy
Lucy has been sick part of this week. As usual with Lucy, there weren't really symptoms. She didn't feel well, and it affected her behavior, making her prone to meltdowns. We know it was illness and not just a reaction to a new baby in the house because we took her temperature and she had a fever over 102. On Saturday, she seemed more volatile than usual. Alice came to stay with us while Matt was at graduation, and Lucy refused to have anything to do with her most of the time. Fortunately, Alice doesn't take such things personally. That night nothing made her happy. She cried and complained for a couple of hours. Few suggestions met with approval, and then she didn't really want what she said she did. That was when we found she had a fever. Eventually, after a bath and some ibuprofen, she curled up under her blanket and with no pajamas and fell asleep. She has remained a little volatile to varying degrees, but she seems a little better every day. The only other symptom is digestive. She didn't poop for a few days. Then her stool was loose. Last night she took her diaper off, and while Matt was getting her a new diaper, she suddenly pooped on her bed and the floor. She couldn't control it, and she was horrified. Bath and ibuprofen helped again. Despite not feeling well, she has continued to be sweet to Maggie and usually remembers to be gentle with me. She also does a good job of being patient. We do have to keep an eye on how helpful she's being with Maggie, but I told Matt that if Lucy were to harm Maggie it would have been motivated by love and kindness. She has started giving Maggie kisses, which is sweet but potentially dangerous because she has a fever. We've tried to limit but not discourage the kissing. We want Lucy to love her little sister, but we want Maggie to be healthy. So far so good with both goals.

Natalie
I'm doing pretty well. I move pretty well. but I tire quickly. I can now cough and laugh without feeling like I'm flying apart. The external incision seems to be healing well. You can't ask for much better a week after a c-section. My biggest problem has been a herpes outbreak on my face, first on my lips and then in my nose. I'm sure it's just the opportunistic virus taking advantage of an immune system working to heal me while being further taxed by stress and lack of sleep. But because the virus is so contagious, I've been unable to kiss Lucy and Maggie for most of the week. I have to constantly wash my hands to make sure that I don't spread it to my nipples or other parts that are currently being handled more often than usual. I've been taking an antiviral prescription, and hopefully, the outbreak will clear up soon. Other than that, I'm mostly just tired. Feeding Maggie every 2-3 hours while also trying to let Lucy know she still has a mom hasn't left me a lot of time to sleep. I'll keep trying to get more naps.

Matt
Matt is healthy so far and doing his best to get enough sleep. He's been sleeping on the floor next to Lucy so that he can help her when she wakes in the night. Lucy has adapted well to cuddles with daddy instead of mama, but cuddles from a two year old can still make it hard to sleep. Matt turned in grades by Monday, so his semester is over. Normally, he would take a day or two to lounge and recover. He's not getting nearly as much lounge time as usual, but some of it is done while holding a sweet, snuggly newborn, which has to make it better. We've done a good job so far of taking turns with the kids. We quickly size up the latest situation and divide and conquer. We each get opportunities to care for ourselves a little, too.

Other than a couple of minor health issues unrelated to delivery and recovery, we've done really well in our first week.

Maggie's First Check-Up

Maggie had her first appointment today. She weighed 6 lbs., 4.5 oz., half an ounce higher than when she left the hospital. She is also half an inch longer than last week. In comparison, Lucy was 4 oz. lighter than hospital weight at her first appointment. Despite her comparatively good weight, we've got another appointment next week to check weight again. Dr. Mike said he's not really worried but wants to keep an eye on it.

Dr. Mike asked if we had any concerns. We only had a few. First, her right eye is constantly crusty or draining. Her tear duct is too small. It's something that should fix itself. If it doesn't resolve by her first birthday, the duct can be enlarged. Second, her nose sounds a little congested, which is pretty common for babies. I just wanted to know if I should suction based on sound or wait until I can see something to suck. She had a huge booger a couple days ago, and she sneezes fairly frequently, which Lucy thinks is hilarious. I'm allowed to use saline and suction. Third, we noticed when we bathed her that she has a divot at the bottom of her spine (in her crack). It currently looks like a second anus. Dr. Mike said it's a sacral dimple. Hers is not big or deep and should be no problem. If the dimple is deep and hairy, they can cause problems. We haven't noticed any other birthmarks on her. Last, Maggie seems a bit jaundiced. She wasn't jaundiced when she left the hospital, but she is a little now. Because she's eating and pooping well, it should resolve soon. If it gets worse, we should see the doctor, but we're going to see him in a week anyway.

Maggie handled the appointment really well. She didn't cry much at all. Lucy, on the other hand, was a bundle of energy. She wanted to touch everything. She pushed the wheeled stool around, crinkled the paper on the table, and ran in circles. She wanted to listen to baby's heartbeat, so Dr. Mike let her use his stethoscope. She heard another baby cry and tried to leave the room saying "baby in trouble." She liked when Dr. Mike poked Maggie to check for jaundice. She kept gently poking Maggie while Matt put her clothes back on. She was very sweet, but we had our hands full.

It was a good appointment. I'm sure next week's will be even more positive.

Margaret Ellen Oliver

 This was written over several days. I'm finally getting it posted.

Margaret Ellen Oliver was born Tuesday, May 10, 2016, at 8:19 a.m. She was 19 inches long and weighed 6 lbs., 11 oz.--not small at all! All her measurements--including her 13-inch h were in the 45th-50th percentiles for her gestational age, just short of 37 weeks. We are calling her Maggie.

We thought we were going to have a scheduled C-section, but this one was unscheduled. Maggie decided that May 10 was her birthday and started coming. My water broke at 4:30 in the morning. The only warning we had was that my mucous plug came out exactly 24 hours earlier. (That was a little dramatic because it had fresh blood in it, but a call to the hospital told me it was OK.) Matt had recently gone to bed but got in motion quickly when I turned on the light on my way to the bathroom and returned a minute later with a towel announcing that my water broke. Lucy was asleep between us and didn't even stir. Shawn and Susie came over right away to stay with Lucy. We got to the hospital around 5:30. They admitted and started prepping me, and then we waited for the doctor to arrive. Surgery went quickly: I was in and out in about an hour. I bled quite a bit because I've been on aspirin, but the bleeding stopped well. Maggie cried long and loud when she was delivered. I got to see her before and after she was cleaned a bit. Matt went to the nursery with her while I went to recovery. We were both in really good shape.

The doctor looked up my latest toxoplasmosis numbers and told us that they had gone down. The first result was a false positive after all. We heard from Louisville on Wednesday that the result of their test was negative for live parasites. Maggie is just fine.

She nursed as soon as I got to hold her when I got back to my room. With my experience and her natural talent, it went really well. She nursed again a couple hours later. Then she went 8+ hours without eating. She just wanted to sleep. Eventually, her blood sugar started decreasing, and we convinced her to eat a bit. Four hours later the nurse brought a very alert Maggie to me, and she ate like a champ again. Sometimes she really eats, and sometimes she just wants to snuggle. She's very sweet. She's lost only 7 oz. since birth. She's had no signs of jaundice. Her hearing, vision, and circulation tests have been perfect, especially impressive because she was born before 37 weeks.

I don't remember exactly how we came up with Maggie's name. I did look for a saint name so that she gets a name day like Lucy does. St Margaret's day (Nov.16) doesn't have traditions like St Lucia's day, but we can make our own. St Margaret was an English princess raised in exile, who married illiterate King Malcolm of Scotland. She read the Bible to him, converted him, and had a great civilizing influence on Scotland while caring for the poor. Her story isn't as flashy as Lucia's, but she was a devout woman who changed a country by reading and caring for those in need. Those are traits we'd like Maggie to have. Margaret is a Persian name that means "child of light." Ellen is a Greek name that means "light." I've been thinking of the meaning of her name as "light from light," a phrase from the Nicene  creed describing Jesus. Ellen also happens to be Matt's mom's first name, although she goes by her middle name, Kay. And Maggie shares Matt's initials (MEO), my doing not his. I don't remember how those pieces came together, but it shows the kind of thought we've put into both of the girls' names. (Both of our girls are little lights.) We also think Maggie is a cute nickname.

Lucy came to see us around 4:30 on Tuesday. At first, she was a bit shy. She's never been in a hospital before, and seeing mama in a weird gown and attached to multiple machines was probably strange. She sat next to me and looked at "baby Emmie." We'll get her used to the name change eventually. I'm still getting used to it myself. Eventually, Lucy got close to Maggie and repeatedly called her "sweet baby." She didn't touch the sweet baby the first day, but it was a successful first meeting. Lucy had a busy day with Shawn and Susie. She handled our being gone when she woke pretty well, and Susie sent me a message that dinner, bath, and bedtime at their house went really well. Matt went home with Lucy for a while on Wednesday. When they came to visit us at the hospital, Lucy was willing to hold Maggie. She wanted to hold her again and again. While Matt or I held Maggie, Lucy rubbed her hair. At least one of those times, Lucy's fingers were covered in Cheetos. Lucy is going to love her baby sister to cheese-dust-coated pieces. Lucy told a nurse "that one sweet baby is Maggie." Lucy watched me nurse Maggie, and she's been told that Maggie only drinks mama milk and can't share the ice chips and Cheetos that Lucy has tried to share. When Maggie cries, Lucy motions for her to go to me and says "come eat." Lucy also told another nurse that baby Maggie "eat mama armpit." Well, it's something like that. The nurses got a kick out of it.

I'm doing as well or better than I'd hoped. By Wednesday I was already moving better than I did when we left the hospital with Lucy. The anesthesiologist put something in my spinal to manage pain for 24 hours. Whatever it was worked terrifically. I got out of bed twice with assistance to sit in the rocking chair in the first 24 hours, and walked the halls on Wednesday. Percocet has managed the pain well, and the doctor said Motrin can be even better if taken regularly. We're heading home on Thursday.

More Feelings: Scared

Lucy is talking more and more about feelings. She has talked about being sad sometimes, and she continues to tell us when something makes her sad, for example when friends have to leave. She has recently started talking about feeling scared.

I have always tried to limit my use of the word "scared" and instead used synonyms, such as "startled" or "surprised," when they are more accurate. Startled is an involuntary reaction that is more neutral (marching band suddenly begins playing--unexpected but not threatening), and surprised is neutral or even positive (a surprise party). It's like the difference between "anxious" (worried) and "anticipating" (waiting expectantly), which can be negative, positive, or neutral. I don't want to use loaded language in neutral situations and possibly encourage fear. I recently read an article about how girls are taught to be scared while boys are encouraged to be brave. I already knew this on some level because I have been trying to raise Lucy differently by being careful with my language and encouraging her to try things and explore. One of the things that the article points out is that girls are more likely to be told not to do something if there is risk: don't climb so high or slide down that pole. Since reading that article, I have tried to say "be careful" more than "no" and to be more specific than "be careful" when possible: "Pay attention to your feet" or "the pool is not a good place to spin until you're dizzy because the floor is so rough and makes you bleed when you fall down" (Can you tell I've said that a few times?). I don't want to discourage using a bench as a balance beam or to keep her from spinning. I just want her to be aware of her body and her context when doing these things. Sometimes she falls and bleeds, but I'm kind of proud when she says "me all right," hops up, and spins again (hopefully on a softer or smoother surface for the sake of her scraped-up little legs).  I do still use the word "scared." Ignoring the word doesn't make the feeling cease to exist. When she gets out of my sight while we're playing outside or shopping in a store, I tell her I felt scared when I couldn't find her. I was worried about her. I don't want to over-alarm her, but a 2 year old on her own is not safe, so I have good reason to be scared. And I want her to know that I feel fear so that she knows it's a valid feeling. But it's just one of many feelings. In addition to not saying certain things, I've been trying to intentionally say some things. From very early in her life, I have praised Lucy's bravery when she tried new things or persevered past fear to try again. I want her to see herself as capable and confident (especially since I'm confident that she's capable of almost anything).

Since she doesn't hear "scared" from me very often, some of the language she uses comes from educational television programs. Sometimes when she says "scared," she means something closer to startled. If she runs around the corner and doesn't expect to see me, she screams. That's not new. But now she says, "Mama, you scare me." She has also said "people scare me" when she has been socially overwhelmed. And she has talked about a "scary monster." The only thing we know about the scary monster is that it howls, but right now Lucy is really into howling like a dog. She does it for fun. So it's unclear whether or not the howling makes the monster scary. She talks about "baby see scary monster." She wants to check places like the closet at a bookstore for a scary monster. She draws pictures of the scary monster, but the drawings aren't recognizable or even similar. She doesn't act particularly scared--unlike her reaction to the tiger on the law office commercial on TV that sent her screaming from the room--so it's hard to tell what's going on.

One morning she told Matt she had a bad dream. Matt asked her what it was about, and she gave a long answer that he didn't understand. The dog on Martha Speaks had a bad dream in an episode we recently watched, so that's where the term came from. I asked if there was a sheep in her bad dream, which is what the dog's dream was about, and she said no, so she wasn't just repeating someone else's bad dream. Last night she started whimpering and saying "mama" in her sleep, so she may be having bad dreams. I snuggled her closer and kissed her head, and she relaxed again.

She has also talked about how "daddy keep me safe" and "daddy keep baby safe." This is also new. We're not sure what danger daddy is protecting someone from, but she's confident in daddy's ability to protect her.

We're trying to be extra attentive to her emotions because this talk of being scared and keeping safe is coming during this period when Matt and I keep leaving her to go to doctor's appointments. We trust the people who are keeping her. They are kind and responsible people who care about or even love her. But she's working through some things enough that she's talking about scared and safe. I remember hating being left when I was little (although older than 2). Even though I knew the people I was staying with, I always felt vulnerable. I knew that the people who were keeping me didn't love me or understand me like my parents did, and I knew that as a child I was pretty much powerless. I'm not sure I had words for it at the time, but that's hoe I felt. I don't know if Lucy senses these things--I'm pretty sure she doesn't have the language to express such ideas--but I want to try to help her deal with her feelings.

I'm gradually reading a book called The Highly Sensitive Person. It's not at all surprising to me that I am a highly sensitive person according to the questionnaire in the book. There's also a parenting book by the same author (The Highly Sensitive Child), and the older Lucy becomes, the more boxes she ticks off on that questionnaire. If she is highly sensitive, she may perceive things intuitively that she can't express and may not be able to process healthily on her own. I personally know that when processing things kids can draw incorrect conclusions that can affect how they view the world for a long time, especially if they don't think to talk about those conclusions with someone who loves them and can help them correct their perceptions and assumptions. I can't read her mind, but I'm, trying to pay attention, make her feel safe and connected, and give her opportunities to talk about what she's thinking.

I'm looking forward to more feelings. It's exciting and helpful that she can tell us more about her inner life. She probably won't think to say "happy" for a while because that one is easy to express non-verbally. I've asked her a few times if she felt angry, and she always emphatically (perhaps angrily) tells me NO. Perhaps if we use the word "perplexed" enough, we can get that one on her radar. I'm sure there's plenty about being 2 that is perplexing.

Lucy's Spring

Playing Outside

Lucy is really into baseball. She wants to play (or at least bat for a few minutes) almost every time she goes outside.

She also likes to throw dirt from her dust pile.

First trip to the zoo
Lucy wasn't interested in the animals, but she found other things to enjoy. She cried when we left and repeatedly ask to return to the zoo. She has since informed us that she's going to the zoo to see animals when we've gotten in the car.

The Zoo Map

The Playgrounds

An African Drum

Gaming
She has tried Candy Land and a few other games. Recently, she's been excited about some German preschool games that Matt and I have picked up through the years. She wants to play them every night before bed.

Reading game instructions like Daddy does

Playing her own version of Pandabo

Games are fun!

Some of her new skills & other developments
She has counted up to eighteen. Fourteen and fifteen are sometimes slurred or omitted. She counts all the time. I've wondered if it's becoming a comfort mechanism for her.

She tried a different, less buoyant flotation device in the pool and liked it. She had to kick more and work harder to keep the water out of her face, but she did very well. She started blowing bubbles to keep the water out of her mouth, exactly what swimmers do.

She has some new phrases. She likes to tell people to sit next to her or come with her. She likes to talk about things that are the same or requests that things happen at the same time. She also keeps saying "three and a half" while gesturing with her hands, but I'm not sure she knows what it means. She talks about things happening every day or all night, even if they don't occur then. She used the word "first" when listing a sequence of events. She's big into talking about how to do things: how to get ready to swim or how to change a poopy diaper.

She is discovering manners! For a few weeks, she's been saying "sorry." She says "sorry, mommy" about things that she shouldn't feel sorry about. It sometimes sounds really pitiful, as if I'm going to beat her if she doesn't constantly apologize. And she doesn't always apologize for things that she should apologize for, such as pinching me. But it's a start. And then a week ago she spontaneously said "please." She asked for a sip of an Icee, and Matt didn't respond immediately, so she asked again with a "please" and immediately got Icee. The reinforcement worked because she has said it again since then. And she threw in a thank you the other day. For several days in a row, when I got her out of her booster seat after breakfast, she threw her arms around me and said, "Thank you, mommy." I nearly cried the first time she said it. I told Matt that I think I've been waiting since her conception to hear her say that. Pregnancy and infancy are demanding and thankless times. It gets better when the child can show interest in you and even better when they show affection, but appreciation is fantastic!  She's saying "please" and "thank you" more and more all the time. Yesterday she said "thank you" to a waiter who brought something to our table. She's talking politely to strangers! And later that day she said, "Me drink Coke, please." (It sounded more like "me drink cold pee," so it took me a second to figure out what she said. When I told her we didn't have any Coke, she said, "Me drink orange ice, please." Politeness twice in a row even when disappointed that her first request was not granted! We find this very exciting.

She is also saying her name now. She said it a time or two around Christmas, but we haven't been able to get her to say it more. Last week, Matt was looking for something to watch on TV, and Lucy saw an image of Last Week Tonight and said "John Oliver," the host's name. We knew she liked the theme song, but we didn't know she knew the host's name. So Matt used that as a teachable moment to let her know that her last name was Oliver, too. She seemed a little dubious, but she said "Lucy Oliver" a few times. Next, she started calling the Little People figure that represents her "Lucy." And a few days later, she said "Knock, knock." (There were knock-knock jokes on an episode of Martha Speaks.) I said, "Who's there?" And she said "Lucy!" It sounds more like Yoo-See, but she said it. It was no joke. She has already improved her pronunciation. I think she even told a man at Kroger asked her name a few days ago. The next step is to get her to introduce herself or answer with her name when someone asks.

I asked her the other day where baby Emmie was, and she tapped my knee and said, "Your leg." Well, at least she was getting the idea that Emmie is inside me. Since then she was sitting next to me on the couch when Emmie started kicking and I started rubbing my belly. Lucy said, "Mama, no rub baby Emmie!" I said, "Do you want to rub her?" "NO!" "Well, she wants to be rubbed, so I'm going to rub her" was my response. It was a first indication of some possible jealousy, but it also showed she's figured out where Emmie is.

The pediatrician told us to expect some regression with a new baby coming. Lucy currently likes to be cradled like a baby, which we are happy to do when we cuddle with her. Last week she tried to get me to feed her from a sports bottle as if it were a baby bottle. I resisted that. She's already rediscovered pacifiers and bottle nipples as chew toys. I've finally gotten the nursery rearranged and the cradle into the room. Lucy finds it fascinating and disturbing at the same time. I found her in the cradle one morning. She hasn't done that again. She likes to rock the cradle, and she's getting better at doing it gently.

She still talks about baby Emmie and how they're going to play "sock ball" (soccer) together. She knows that the Winnie the Pooh diapers are for baby Emmie, not for her, which she is happy about because she's still an Elmo diaper girl. We've had to go back to "dog diapers" (Huggies) sometimes because we ran out of Elmo diapers. I bought some more for bedtime because they really are more absorbent, but during the day she wears whatever else we have. We just don't tell her that we're putting something else on her. She has seen a different diaper on herself once or twice and protested, but she didn't throw the same kind of fit that she used to. And we've moved Lucy's car seat from the middle of the back seat to one side so that Emmie's seat can go in the middle. I asked Lucy if she would like for Emmie to sit next to her in the blue car and got an enthusiastic YES! Overall, she's pro-Emmie.

However, she's anti-potty right now. We're not pushing it. I'm hoping that not caring about the Elmo diapers as much means that she'll be able to let go of them as part of her identity and go ahead and potty train in the nearish future. I did get her a couple of pairs of training pants that have a wetness barrier built in. They don't provide complete protection against accidents, but they would buy us a little time if the she catches herself before flooding the training pants. I also got a washable cover for her car seat so that we don't have to take the car seat apart to wash it every time she has an accident.

In general, Lucy is in a delightful phase right now. She is learning and imaginative and thoughtful and becoming polite. She has off times that are not as delightful, but those are the exception.

Appointment 36-1: Waiting on Bloodwork

Today we went to Louisville and saw Dr. Cuthrell, whom we've never seen before. They took measurements again at today's ultrasound. By digging the ultrasound wand into my pubic bone (Jenny is much gentler), they got a more accurate but still incomplete look at Emmie's head. That brought her percentile up, but they're using the wrong due date, so we didn't bother to pay attention to the number. They estimate that she's 4 oz. heavier than yesterday's estimate, a little over 5.5 pounds. Grow, Emmie, grow!

Then the doctor came to scan me a little more and talk to us. He didn't see any evidence of calcification in Emmie's brain or liver. The results from yesterday's blood test aren't back yet, so he didn't have more information to go on. The results we have aren't able to tell him when I got toxoplasmosis. With no calcification, it's either very recently or a long time ago, and timing matters a lot to Emmie. The doctor didn't express an opinion about which scenario was more likely. He was not in favor of doing an amniocentesis to know for sure if Emmie has toxoplasmosis, and if we don't know for sure, he can't give me medicine. So what he did was take more of my blood to see if there are live parasites currently in my bloodstream.  If there aren't, then the toxoplasmosis is either an old infection (pre-Emmie) or a false positive, so Emmie should be fine. We'd still have her tested after birth to be 100% sure. If there are live parasites in my blood, we deliver Emmie ASAP to end her exposure to my blood, start her on medication, and hopefully limit the damage. The blood has to be sent out, so results will take a few days. So we're waiting to see if Emmie needs to be born before week 37. The doctor did say that he doesn't think Emmie's size is a problem; she's small because I tend to have small babies. So that's good news.

Over the next few days I'll try to do all the things I feel are absolutely necessary before Emmie's arrival: clean the kitchen enough so it's no longer disgusting, get some extra stuff out of the nursery so that four of us can fit in there, swim while I can since it keeps my back functioning, and cuddle with Lucy because it's one of my favorite things to do. If there's time, I'll transplant squash and buy a few more groceries.

Appointment 35-2: OK

Ultrasound: Emmie did not pass her BPP. She breathed but not enough to pass. We've found that she does really well in the morning and not as well in the afternoon. In some ways that's not a problem. We know we can breathe. On the other hand, after she's born she will have to breathe in the afternoon whether or not she thinks it's breathing time. Since we were already going to the hospital for an NST, we didn't mind that she didn't pass. My fluid was 9.5, so I'm still at the low end of normal. They also checked growth. Emmie has stayed in the 16th percentile. They estimated that she's gained 14 oz., so she's just about meeting the half a pound a week gain that they expect at this point in the pregnancy. The head measurement was still small. The assumption at this point is that her head is engaged in my pelvis just as it should be for a vaginal delivery. When the head is tucked that way, ultrasounds can't measure the full circumference of the head, which is one of the measurements that the percentile is based on. So she's growing and gaining weight and holding steady percentile-wise.

Vitals: Good blood pressure and a pound or so of weight gain for me. Emmie's heart rate was a good 148.

Appointment with Dr. Reynolds: Doctor Reynolds felt my belly and said that if he didn't have ultrasound growth information, he would say that Emmie felt like a normal 35-week baby. She doesn't feel particularly small to him, so that's good news. In this case, his hands are probably more accurate than the ultrasound. He ordered another blood test for toxoplasmosis. According to him, you only have to wait two weeks to retest. If we're lucky, we'll have test results by the time we go to our appointment in Louisville tomorrow morning. According to Matt (I must not have been listening very well), Dr. Reynolds wasn't worried about Emmie not passing the BPP and said that the BPPs are mostly helpful to decide if she'll be born at 38 weeks or 39 weeks. We haven't even considered 39 weeks, but apparently Dr. Reynolds is. However, we see Dr. Ackermann next Tuesday. I'm pretty sure he's not considering 39 weeks. But by the time we see him, it will be 36-2, so it's highly unlikely that we'll have a Final's Week baby.

NST: Emmie did really well. She fought the monitors a little, so she was reactive enough. While we were there, I signed all of the Women's Center paperwork necessary before a c-section: I agree to anesthesia, a blood transfusion if necessary, supplementing with formula only if absolutely necessary, etc. So once we check into the hospital, the nurse said I'll just need an IV, a shave, and compression socks before going into surgery. "Is that all?" was my response. Invasive procedures but no questions or signatures. Sure.

We got home in only four hours and then went out to eat with Shawn and Susie. It feels like we just drop Lucy off with them and never get to socialize anymore. I want to socialize, but we take up so much of their time with childcare that I don't want to tax their schedules even more. It was really good to talk to them. And it's good for Lucy to see us all together. She's been fussing as soon as she sees them because she assumes that as soon as they show up her parents will disappear. She did well with them today after I left. Before I left, he didn't say anything about not wanting me to leave, but she didn't want Susie to stay. I'm sure Susie's staying and my leaving were connected in her mind, but she didn't directly protest my leaving. Fortunately, we won't have to leave her for our appointment tomorrow.