Prenatal Personality 2: His Father's Son?

Since the moment I blogged about how lethargic the baby is, his energy has multiplied.  I have begun to wonder if he's perverse like his father.  Matt tends to do exactly the opposite of what you want him to do.  For example, I told him that at Christmas Ashley decided to call the baby "Neil" even though we hadn't decided on a name.  Matt said that she must not know him very well because that's a good way to make him not want to choose that name.  So yesterday, I mentioned to Matt that the baby has been really active since I told everyone that he's not very active.  Matt's response was "Way to go, son!"  I told Matt that I love him but I'm not sure I could live with two of him.  But, then, there are certain personality traits of mine that would drive Matt crazy if he had to deal with a double portion.  I then considered that our child might be a mixture of all the worst characteristics of his parents.  Oh dear!  Poor us!  Poor him!  A depressed kid with a short temper, social anxiety, and a tendency to be contrary.

Matt took my comment about not being able to live with two of him in stride.  He's been more patient and easy going recently, which has aided conversation.  Sometimes my feelings don't come out right the first time, so patience really helps as I find the best way to approach serious conversations.  I really shouldn't have mentioned Matt's reaction though.  He is his son's father and will probably become irascible now that I've labeled him as easy going.

Prenatal Personality

I've been wondering what the baby will be like.  I've read that the way a baby acts in the womb can tell you a bit about what he'll be like when he's born.  My niece Audrey was very active before she was born, even nurses remarked how she didn't stop moving the entire time the fetal monitor was on, and now she's a very energetic two year old.  My baby is not energetic.  I get an occasional kick, but rarely sustained movement.  He did go a little wild after I had a cupcake with chocolate icing the other day, and percussion ensembles trigger his boogie instinct.  (Apparently, he knows I'm blogging about him right now because he just thumped me.)  At some point I'm supposed to be able to do a kick count to determine if he's potentially in distress because of decreased movement, but at this point I don't feel him move more than once or twice every three or four hours.

Mostly, I've noticed him reacting to stimuli, and it makes me laugh.  One night I got up to use the restroom and as soon as I got back in bed I realized I was hungry.  Immediately after realizing that, my stomach rumbled and the baby kicked right where it rumbled.  I'm not sure if it was a surprised reaction or a petulant "Stupid stomach!" kick.  I took the hint and ate a bowl of raisin bran (my latest favorite).  Gastro-intestinal rumblings, sniffing, and sometimes coughing and back popping are immediately punished/rewarded with kicks.  He doesn't like for things like my computer lap desk or a book or my elbow to rest on my tummy.  Those get kicked to maintain his personal space.  Rubbing and temporary pressing don't get kicks, but sustained pressure does, though not sleeping on my stomach.  So far he hasn't responded to any of the names I've called him, but he kicks when someone on TV says "baby."  Perhaps he thinks that's his name because I've been calling him that in lieu of a name for so many months.  And every night when I read in bed, I tell him that this is his chance to kick before bedtime.  Despite the fact that bedtime varies widely, he tends to take me up on it.  When I'm ready to turn out the light, I tell him it's time to stop kicking and rub my tummy a little and he's quiet until I get up.  Sometimes he kicks when I get up to go to the bathroom, but I tell him it's still sleepy time and rub my tummy a little and he stays quiet again.

I find him amusing and fascinating, but I'm not sure what it means about his personality.  Is he introspective, responsive, and obliging?  Or is he a bundle of petulance who is reactionary and likes massages?  I'm really eager to find out.  I treat him as if it's the first option and tell him what a good boy he is.  Who knows if telling a petulant child you believe he is really a good child makes a difference?  I guess I'm either setting him up to be a good child or setting myself up to be disappointed.

By the way, he's kicked more while I've been typing than he has the rest of the day combined, and my lap desk is not touching my belly.  Perhaps he's sending his greetings.  Let's believe that.  What a good boy!

Half Price is Nice

I love Big Lots!  A couple months ago, I found out they have a frequent shopper club, so I signed up.  When you spend at least $20 on ten separate occasions, you get 20% off everything you buy the next time.  I was hoping to buy a rocker/recliner for the nursery on my 20% off shopping trip.  Well, yesterday I got an email coupon for 20% off what I buy Jan. 23-21, and I haven't even earned it yet.  We don't have the money to pay for a rocker/recliner right now even at 20% off, but I did get some other things we needed for the baby.  I got a play yard with bassinet and changer, essentially a complete nursery in one box (pictures below).  It sells for $113 at Walmart, but it's $80 at Big Lots and I got another $16 off with my coupon, about half price.  I also got a diaper bag for about $10 instead of the $20 Walmart price.  If you shop at Big Lots, go to www.biglots.com to sign up for their club and to get your coupon.

The changing table is hanging from the front and has to be clipped on the inside every time you use it.  It has a potentially useless canopy.  The control panel on the side controls a vibrator, a light, and music and nature sounds.  The brown thing in the bassinet is the vibrator, which I will install under the mattress after I buy batteries.  There's also a caddy for diapering supplies that can clip to the front of the bassinet.  The bassinet unzips from the rest of the play yard, so we can continue to use the play yard after he gets too big for the bassinet.

While I was shopping, I had someone ask me if I'm pregnant.  That's a first!  Of course, at the store I was in a few minutes before, the saleslady had trouble believing I was pregnant.  It's the black hoodie I wear constantly.  Either it's slimming or it makes everyone look enormous and lumpy.

The other day we picked up some things like wipes, baby wash, diaper rash cream, infant Tylenol, and Mylicon drops at Walmart.  Since Matt and I function only with the help of Tylenol/ibuprofen and Gas-X, I figured we should have pain relief and gas relief ready for the baby.  I was disappointed to learn at childbirth class that the hospital will have no freebies for us because companies aren't allowed to "buy" patients any more.  I found some diaper and wipe coupons online at places like www.coupons.com, so I can start stockpiling.  I'm going to try making receiving blankets out of some of Matt's old t-shirts.  We could still  use some things, like a Diaper Genie and humidifier, but I'm feeling much more prepared for the baby's arrival.  He can be brought home, clothed, changed, bathed, fed, medicated, burped, and now he has somewhere to sleep.  That should get us through the first several weeks so that we have extra time to get the clothes and supplies he'll need for when he's a bit bigger.

Now that I feel better about having the baby's stuff together, I can work on packing my hospital bag and  cleaning and meal planning and job securing.  I'm trying to get every moving box unpacked because it's not going to happen after the baby's born.  We made good progress on the study last night.  I bought some parenting books from www.half.com, a division of ebay with super-low prices and no bidding.  One of the books, about what babies say before they can talk, has come in, and I read it and Matt perused it.  It's led to some good conversations about parenting philosophy.  We've been talking for years, especially after we spent time with people with kids.  Our conversations now make me feel more mentally prepared to bring home the baby, especially since we're in agreement about most things.

Education, Injection and Accessories (or How I Spent My Saturday)

We got up early today for childbirth classes.  I've done quite a bit of reading about pregnancy, labor and delivery, so I didn't expect to learn a lot in childbirth class.  Isn't it nice when your expectations are met? :)  I didn't get any new information about having babies.  At this point, experience is probably the best teacher.

I did get a tour of the Women's Center and learned about their philosophy and policies, which is really what I wanted to get out of the class.  The facilities are nice: somewhere between home and time share condo.  Hospital beds have wooden headboards, walls are papered and have bold borders at the top, and televisions are in a wooden hutch instead of just screwed to the wall.  Labor and delivery happen in the same room, so unless you're taken to an OR you remain in the same room for your entire stay.  If possible, all rooms are private, and they have a couch for husbands to sleep on.  There is a nursery, but babies are allowed to "room in" (stay in the mother's room).  They have tons of security so no one can steal your baby.  The attitude of the medical staff seems to be that it's your birthing experience and they are present to assist.  From some of the answers I got to questions that I asked, they'll let you labor and deliver in pretty much any position you want, but they're not going to be imaginative and suggest delivering in any position but semi-reclining with feet in stirrups.  They encourage unmedicated birthing but really like drugs, too.  IVs seem to be mandatory, but I was already going to need IV antibiotics for the Type B Strep they found several months ago in my urine.  They seem pretty insistent on my wearing a hospital gown to keep me from messing up my clothes and to make some IV stuff easier, but I'm going to show up in what I want to wear (a knit skirt that I don't mind staining) and Matt is going to insist I get to wear it.  I'm pretty bummed that they don't have hydro-therapy tubs to labor in, but they have a shower that I can sit in as much as I like.  I swim like a fish and love taking baths, so I was really looking forward to a pregnant-woman-sized tub to relax in while in labor.  I'll just have to take warm baths at home before I go to the hospital and have Matt help pry me out of the tub when I'm done.  Overall, I'm pleased with what I've seen and heard.

Matt was unimpressed by our instructor.  Her presentation meandered and there were some unfortunate racial stereotypes early in her presentation.  The fact that he had to get up early on a Saturday didn't put him in a mood to be easily impressed.  He did find some of the videos informative (he hasn't been reading like I have). And we kind of enjoyed the silly breathing exercise portion of the class.  We mostly talked about our expectations for his labor coaching while we were supposed to be practicing breathing, and I'm hoping it leads to further conversations so that we're on the same page when I go into labor.  When we had to "perform" our breathing for the teacher, she told Matt he has a very authoritative and soothing voice.  It made us smile because he gets that kind of comment all the time, sometimes in much weirder situations and from crazier people.

While on lunch break, I had blood drawn in preparation for my Rhogam shot.  After classes I got the injection, which will keep me from forming antibodies in my blood that would attack a fetus with a different blood type.  Most people/babies have positive Rh factors, but I'm A-.  Supposedly, this baby is safe, but the next one would be in trouble if I reacted to this one.

When I stopped by the ER to get the shot, I was given two bracelets to wear to the lab and got another one at the lab.  All I wanted was a single injection, but I got three bracelets to go with it.  As I was wearing them all afternoon, I thought about Dad getting a hospital bracelet after receiving pain medication for his gallbladder surgery and asking the nurse if it meant they were going steady. :)  A good anecdotal reason to aim for unmedicated labor.

Check up results

I went to the doctor Tuesday for a check up and for my 1-hour fasting blood glucose test.  They didn't have test results by the time I left the office, but the lab tech told me "no news was good news" and I haven't heard from them yet.  Uncharacteristically, I'm assuming I don't have gestational diabetes.  The baby's heart rate is good, and my uterus is where it's supposed to be.  My blood pressure was OK, and I've gained 5 pounds in the last 6 weeks.  My next appointment is in early February.  Thereafter, I have to go every two weeks.  One more sign that this labor/delivery/baby thing is getting really serious.

Childbirth classes were rescheduled for this Saturday because of a piddly amount of snow last weekend.  This actually works better for me.  I can get my Rhogam shot while we're at the hospital Saturday instead of making a special trip next week.  I'm not sure if Matt prefers having all-day classes at a hospital half an hour from home on divisional football playoff Saturday (this weekend) instead of wildcard playoff weekend (last weekend).  I won't be asking to stop at Walmart on the way home this time.  It's better for my marriage if I don't. :)  We did stop at Walmart after the appointment Tuesday.  I love the Walmart in Lebanon because they tend to have produce discounted and they always have multiple aisles of clearance.  I got a huge bag of Dole salad for less than $1 and a few optional baby items on clearance: a bottle, a car bottle warmer, and some microwave sanitizer bags.  If I decide I don't really need the optional baby items, I can always return them with a receipt.  They had several other interesting items on clearance, including another breast pump.  I'm hoping I stop by sometime and find they've put a crib and changing table on clearance.  Hoping but not holding my breath.

Hip Hurray for the Third Trimester!

We're heading into the third trimester, and things seem to be going well.  Weight gain has been very reasonable, and my feet are not consistently bigger.  Occasionally, a little swelling perhaps.  Other than the weirdness of having a writhing being in my gut, I'm not having many side effects.  I've been a bit out of breath, especially when I turn over in bed, and I've been dizzy or unsteady on my feet a few times.  No heartburn or hemorrhoids or constipation.  No contractions.  Fatigue is manageable.

Childbirth classes were scheduled for today but were postponed due to weather.  We'll ask around for recommendations for a pediatrician next week so that we can fill out pre-registration forms at the hospital when we go to class next Saturday. I'm eager to see the hospital facilities and find out if they're as progressive as calling themselves The Women's Center makes them sound, especially important since I want to be unmedicated for labor and delivery if possible.  And I'd like to be able to control noise and light in my room.  Matt has already been instructed to shut up anyone but the doctor if the entire delivery room starts yelling, "Push! Push!"  Screaming strangers aren't encouraging even if they're smiling.  And I'd really like one of those big hot tubs to labor in.  I love baths!  And Matt could join me.  We can play in the tub together, though I think we should leave our bag of squirty animals and self-propelled boats at home.  I think we're both pretty excited about sharing our bath toys with our son.  I even bought him a new self-propelled boat of his very own.  The kid doesn't have a name, but he has a tub toy. :)

I have a regular appointment and a 1-hour fasting glucose test next Tuesday.  Sometime in January, I'll get my Rhogam shot to prevent me from forming antibodies because of blood type differences between me and the baby.  I'm sure I'll have a list of questions for the doctor in the next visit or two. The top question in my mind is "Since we live half an hour from the hospital, at what point in labor should we leave home?"  I haven't really talked through my preferences for labor and delivery with the doctors.  Dr. Reynolds and I discussed my desire to avoid pain medication. He asked if my mother had pain medication in labor, and I told him she had three babies with no medication.  Then he asked about my dad.  I told him that my dad never gave birth. :)  He then clarified that he wanted to know if my dad was a cry baby when he hurt himself, so I told him that I thought Dad handled pain OK.  He had been skeptical of my ability to labor unmedicated but thought that tough parents boded well for my chances. Thanks Mom and Dad!  I also threw in that my sister went unmedicated until labor stalled after 18 hours.  I'm not opposed to drugs if I need them.  I'm not a masochist.

I'm already thinking through packing for the hospital.  I need to order the Peace instrumental CD we used for prayer time in Ellsinore.  It takes only four notes of that CD to make me go limp, not ideal for praying but probably great for relaxing through contractions.  I also got some calming scented massage oil.  Now I just have to get Matt to use it.  I'm hoping that when I'm obviously in need of pampering and support during labor he'll get over his aversion to oils and lotions.  I'm also interested in clothing options at the hospital.  I don't want to wear a hospital gown for hours when I'm already uncomfortable and irritable.  I'm kind of hoping that a tankini top and a knit skirt (typical sleepwear for me) will be OK.  And a hoodie, of course.  I'll probably start making (and losing) lists of items to pack next week.

I plan to do some pregnancy yoga, reread some pregnancy books, and avoid TLC and Discovery Channel shows about labor for the next few months.  I'll also try to do some cleaning.  I've been told that the waiting seems interminable during the last trimester, so I'm coming up with productive activities to keep me busy and make me as prepared as possible.  We'll see how it goes.

A Bit of Belly for the Voyeurs :)

I've had a few requests for pictures of my belly that I've put off until I had something to show, and I've heard some disappointment that there hasn't been anything to see.  Well, I now feel that I look pregnant enough to share a picture.  Granted, this is a pre-pregnancy shirt that I stopped wearing when I started gaining weight a few years ago because it made me look pregnant when I wasn't, so it's not surprising that a pregnant lady looks pregnant in it.  I'm just happy to be able to finally wear the shirt.  It was my festive New Year's outfit this year.

My maternity jeans are still irritatingly loose, but the plus-size elastic-waist pants are still fitting fine.  Because I'm not wearing pants with a maternity panel, I'm able to wear several of my regular shirts.  Typically, when I'm not being festive, I wear my hoodie over every shirt anyway.  Actually, I think I also wore my hoodie when I was being festive.  O hoodie!

Just Dance!

The baby has been reasonably active recently (though he still calms down when asked).  It probably helps that mommy hasn't laid on his head again.  But I've never felt him as active as when there's a strong drum beat.  I went to an arts fair with Ashley on New Year's Eve and heard two percussion groups.  The African drummers were so loud that I thought I was feeling an echo in my belly.  But it was my son bouncing off the walls and busting a move.  He calmed down for a few hours until the next percussion show we went to.  It wasn't as loud, but the baby went wild.  If he gets fussy after he's born, we may have to take him down the street to the university marching band practice.  Or Aunt Ash may have to make him a mix CD.  He seems to like her R&B/rap-influenced music already.  He may be unimpressed by the electronic lullabies that baby gear and toys play because there's just not enough groove.  I'm not sure if I have my Nitro Praise CD from the 90s anymore, but it would probably work.  I may try blasting some disco music and see how he reacts.  As often as I've danced around to my MP3 player while cleaning, he comes by the boogie impulse honestly.

Baby Booty

Unnamed baby Oliver had a good Christmas.  My parents got him three months worth of clothes, a hooded towel and wash cloths, and a swing.  Grandma Tanner got him a car seat and a hooded towel and wash cloths.  Kristin and Clayton got him some clothes, a pair of shoes, a manicure set, and bottle supplies.  Cathy and Rick got him a non-electronic caterpillar toy (he got an electronic one at Thanksgiving). Ashley got him a cute sea turtle shirt.  I shopped sales, clearance, and second-hand stores and got some knit hats, sun hats, don't-scratch-your-eyes-out mittens, a couple hoodies, a boppy pillow, a bath chair, a monster hooded towel, a bottle warmer, and a breast pump (less than $40).  He's set to be fed by his mom OR dad and bathed and clothed.  Matt says it figures that I made sure that bath supplies were ready since he's inheriting a bag full of bath toys from his parents.  And now that he has a car seat, he can come home from the hospital.  Thank you to everyone for helping us get ready for our baby's arrival.

He still has no furniture.  I'm hoping that I'll get the English department web job to earn some extra money to buy furniture.  If nothing else, he can sleep in the car seat carrier, and the bath chair could double as a not-so-bouncy seat.  We also need a diaper bag, Diaper Genie, bibs, zillions of diapers and wipes, and baby wash. I plan to check out more second-hand stores and Craig's list opportunities when we go to Louisville in February for a conference that Matt's reading at.

I've been asked by several people about our nursery theme and bedding sets.  We have no theme. We are using photos, posters and prints we already own as wall art.  There's a neutral colored rug on the hardwood floor.  The crib we picked out is espresso colored.  I bought some removable wall stickers from Dollar Tree for further decorating after we get furniture: stars & planets, jungle animals, dinosaurs, and letters to spell a name when he has one.  We haven't picked out a bedding set because newborns aren't allowed to have anything in their cribs.  We did register for fitted crib sheets.  I'm not sure if we'll bother with a bedding set in several months when he's allowed to have crib bumpers.  We'll have to see if we need bumpers, and I'm sure we'll have plenty of blankets.  We live in a rental house and aren't sure how long we'll be living in this house, so it's a little hard to get too caught up in decorating.