Update on the Update

I survived the three-hour blood glucose test. I was exhausted, dehydrated, and starving by the end, and my arm looks roughed up after four blood draws and four bandaids. But I did it. I won't know results until our appointment on Monday. I'll share what I know when I know more.

Quick Update: Late June

I found out this afternoon that I failed the one-hour glucose test by 5 points, so I have to go in tomorrow morning for the three-hour test. The doctor had told me that if the results were even marginal I'd have to take the long test. But I was disappointed. I'm an over-achiever and hate to fail.
It didn't help that I found this out after a short night and a long day at work. Matt had a boys' night with professors/fellow-gamers in Louisville last night. Elsie and I went shopping in Campbellsville. Consignment stores, Big Lots, Dollar General! We did it all! After Elsie and I got home, a rowdy thunderstorm moved in. Matt was still on the road when the electricity went out, so I scrambled to find lights and food and entertainment until he arrived. I was a little wired when he got home. About the time I got settled, Elsie decided it was party time... for four hours. I got about four hours of sleep and then worked an extra 1.5 hours at the church. So I was in no state of mind to be told that I had failed a health test, especially since I am very aware that my primary job as a mom is to take good care of myself and be healthy. And I was told I'm already failing. Self-flagellation is very easy when I'm tired. But I'm doing better now. Matt took me to Colton's for salmon and steamed veggies. Eating salmon always makes me feel virtuous. Then I took a nap, went swimming, discovered baby squashes and cucumbers and green beans while watering my garden, and took a long warm bath. I'm about to eat some tuna and celery (which also makes me feel virtuous) and then head to bed around midnight, when my fast starts. Tomorrow is another test. But surely the virtuous mom who consumes fish high in omega-3s, exercises, and grows her own produce can pass a test of sugar water and waiting around.

Fruitful and Multiplying

 The head of broccoli is recognizable as broccoli and is the size of a small floret.

The first cherry tomato of the season!

Several snap pea plants and a few peas. The big pea in this picture was promptly eaten as soon as the photo was taken. It was pretty yummy.

The blueberries are small but growing.

It took a few replantings in some spots, but I've got many green bean and purple hull pea plants that are thriving. The oldest plant is putting out flowers.

And the chard in the front right corner has grown since I harvested some last week.

And the squash ghetto is growing like crazy. I will soon need to put up some sort of trellis.

The tomatoes are already caged. I stayed on top of them this year.

Getting to Know Elsie

We've seen ultrasounds of Elsie (***not her birth name***) twice in the last month; and in the last few weeks, I've been able to feel her when she's particularly active. So we're starting to get to know her just a little.

We haven't seen much detail or much action during the ultrasounds. They were both done during her nap time, and she wasn't in a good position for a closeup. Her position was the same at both ultrasounds. She loves having her feet above her head, essentially pike position. At the last ultrasound, her arms were also over her head. The ultrasound tech thinks she was playing with her toes. It's good to know she can entertain herself.

Our other way to get to know her is her movement. She has definite sleep patterns. I can pretty much count on feeling her 9:30-10:30 a.m. and 11:00 p.m.-12:30 a.m. I haven't noticed any clear food preferences yet. Gomen wot at the Ethiopian restaurant and the garlicky chard I made the other day got pretty big reactions, so perhaps she likes hearty greens with garlic. Overall, I haven't noticed any music preferences, but she seemed to find the score to the latest Star Trek movie rousing. My talking to her doesn't seem to make a difference, but Matt's voice is incredibly exciting to her. She goes wild on Thursday nights when Matt gets home from game night. He comes home talkative and kind of jazzed, and it gets her wound up. Matt says she probably just likes deep voices, but I think he's flattered.

We're just approaching week 24, so we've got quite a while to get to know her better.

Thank You to the Megaphones

In the car on the way to or from Springfield for Neil's funeral, Matt and I talked about how we wished we could have contained the news about my pregnancy. It would have limited the number of people we had to give bad news to, and it would have prevented the unintentionally hurtful things people said to me, assuming I had a newborn. Delaying the news until after the first trimester would not have helped. Delaying the news until the due date wouldn't even have helped. The only plan that would have worked was to have a baby and only tell people after the birth.

Shortly after we learned I was pregnant in January, I realized that the timing was right for our crazy secrecy plan to actually work. We only see family twice a year: summer and Christmas. We wouldn't see family or far-away friends until summer, and we would have to travel in May because my due date was in September and Matt teaches in June. As long as I wasn't obviously pregnant during that visit, no one would suspect I was pregnant until we sent a birth announcement. Last time I was pregnant, I didn't get outrageously huge, so there was a chance I wouldn't look pregnant in late May. Since I'm overweight anyway, I'd probably just look a little pudgier than usual. :)

BUT the problem with the plan was the people who see me regularly. If I was lucky, I might be able to delay telling them until the third trimester, but eventually it would become obvious. And if the local people said something on Facebook, the far-away people would find out and probably be really (justifiably) mad that they hadn't been told. SO CLOSE!

So we had to tell people at least before it became obvious. Because the crazy secrecy plan wasn't going to be possible, I figured I'd share my news with a few people after the first trimester. (For the rest of this post, "sharing" means telling people that I'm pregnant.) But the end of the first trimester was near the beginning of April, and I don't talk pregnancy, baby, or birthday in April unless it is absolutely necessary. By the time April was over, we were just a few weeks away from the 20 week ultrasound. And since we had put it off that long, we might as well wait until after the ultrasound so that we could share a due date and gender. That worked fine because the ultrasound was before our Missouri visit. It would be a little weird not to tell family before we saw them, and calling before the trip was perfect because I prefer not to actually see people when I share so that they can smile and do happy dances without my knowledge.

So the fact that anyone knows I'm pregnant is because of one little flaw in a crazy secrecy plan. That's how badly I don't want to talk about being pregnant.

My ability to not talk about being pregnant and to not deal with other people's feelings is made possible by other people sharing the news. Everyone who reads this blog can not only stay informed but also insulate me from the fatigue of repeated sharing by passing on information to other people. Because they amplify my message so that more people hear it, I think of these people as my Megaphones.

In addition to family Megaphones and blog-reader Megaphones, I handpicked a few well-placed individuals to talk to specific groups of people. First, my church family sees me often enough that they needed to be told. However, the ebullience and effusiveness that I love about my church is not a response to my news that I could handle, so I needed a St Thomas Megaphone. Matt and I decided to tell Shawn and Susie, friends who love us enough to not judge us because we invite them over even when our house is a disaster (which is pretty much all the time). Because they know us so well, their response was surprise followed by "How do we all feel about this news?" rather than happy dancing. Susie is the source of the term "going Mongolian," so she was the right person to share the news for us at church while we were in Missouri. Thank you, Susie. And thank you, St Thomas Church, for going Mongolian for me. The only response so far has been extra hugs and gleams in eyes during greeting time. And I can't blame people for gleaming.

My second group-specific Megaphone needed to spread the word at my other church. I'm a part-time church secretary at a Baptist church; and though I work alone most of the time, church members sometimes stop by. I picked Joyce, the women's ministry leader, to be my Lowell Avenue Megaphone. A few days after I shared with her, she stopped by the office because she was afraid I had picked her because I think she's a gossip. I reassured her that I don't think she's a gossip. She's got the best access to the women's ministry, which is really active and mostly made up of retired ladies, just the people most likely to show up at the church on a weekday morning. And those ladies have the connections to spread the message to pretty much anyone in the church. Thank you, Joyce. So far so good.

Thank you to all my Megaphones, whether I'm aware of your work or not. If you think of a group that should be told, go ahead and be my Megaphone. The only thing I ask is that you be willing to share bad news as well as good news. I hope not to have bad news; but if I did, that would be when I would need my Megaphones the most.

Going Mongolian

My friend Susie recently told me about a Mongolian friend of hers who is pregnant. Mongolians have a tradition of not buying anything for a baby until he or she is actually born. They believe it's bad luck. Susie's friend was eventually talked into getting at least a car seat so that she's prepared to bring the baby home from the hospital.

I'm not superstitious, but I must say that after my previous experience I really like the Mongolian way. Now I could never not shop for a baby. Shopping is how I cope with life changes. And I've realized that shopping for an unborn child is an act of hope. But I like the idea of not making a big deal about a baby until the baby is born. Delaying excitement seems like it manages expectations, and managed expectations seem like they decrease the likelihood of, or at least the degree of, disappointment. After Neil died, I told Matt that I felt like I let everyone down. I had told people I was going to have a baby, and then I didn't. Matt said that only I would feel that away in that situation. :) People expressing excitement about an unborn baby feels like expectation, and I hate disappointing expectations more than just about anything.

Why all this talk of expectations? Because I'm expecting. I assume that everyone who knows I'm pregnant is excited for me and praying for me. You don't have to say anything. In fact, I'd prefer that you "go Mongolian" and keep your comments to yourself until I bring home a baby.

I started this blog almost four years ago to keep everyone updated about my pregnancy and life. I plan to continue doing that. This FAQ should get you up to speed and hopefully answer most of your questions.

Q: When are you due?
A: September 30, but my OB said that as long as everything is OK at 39 weeks, he'll induce. So there should be a baby before the end of September.

Q: So that means you're how many weeks along?!?
A: Almost 23. Yep, we kept this news under our hats for quite a while.

Q: So do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
A: A girl. Multiple ultrasounds have been conclusively interpreted by multiple experienced medical professionals.

Q: Have you picked out a name?
A: Matt and I have had multiple girls' names picked out for years. However, previous experience has made us reluctant to give unborn children names that we want our children to carry all their lives. So we are not giving our daughter a name until she's born. Until then, we are calling her Elsie. Let me repeat, HER NAME IS NOT ELSIE. That's just what we're calling her until she gets her permanent name.

Q: Is everything OK with the baby?
A: Yes. In fact, just to be safe, our regular OB sent us to a fetal medicine specialist in Louisville. The specialist used his extra-good ultrasound equipment twice to check every inch of the baby as well as the insertion points of the umbilical cord in both the baby and the placenta. The umbilical cord is attached properly and has proper blood flow. The baby has all her parts and is a proper size, currently just over a pound and in the 52nd percentile. And even my blood pressure has been perfect this time.

She has become noticeably active over the last week. So far triggers of significant action have been the Star Trek: Into Darkness soundtrack, barbecue, Ethiopian food, and her father talking about board games. Yep, she's our daughter all right. :)

Q: How have you felt?
A: Other than some nausea caused by the prenatal vitamin, which went away when I switched vitamins, I've felt good. Occasionally, I'm a little tired, and I need to pee frequently, but I'm doing well.

Q: Is it OK to tell people that you're pregnant?
A: Talk to whoever you want as long as it's not me. :)