Going Mongolian

My friend Susie recently told me about a Mongolian friend of hers who is pregnant. Mongolians have a tradition of not buying anything for a baby until he or she is actually born. They believe it's bad luck. Susie's friend was eventually talked into getting at least a car seat so that she's prepared to bring the baby home from the hospital.

I'm not superstitious, but I must say that after my previous experience I really like the Mongolian way. Now I could never not shop for a baby. Shopping is how I cope with life changes. And I've realized that shopping for an unborn child is an act of hope. But I like the idea of not making a big deal about a baby until the baby is born. Delaying excitement seems like it manages expectations, and managed expectations seem like they decrease the likelihood of, or at least the degree of, disappointment. After Neil died, I told Matt that I felt like I let everyone down. I had told people I was going to have a baby, and then I didn't. Matt said that only I would feel that away in that situation. :) People expressing excitement about an unborn baby feels like expectation, and I hate disappointing expectations more than just about anything.

Why all this talk of expectations? Because I'm expecting. I assume that everyone who knows I'm pregnant is excited for me and praying for me. You don't have to say anything. In fact, I'd prefer that you "go Mongolian" and keep your comments to yourself until I bring home a baby.

I started this blog almost four years ago to keep everyone updated about my pregnancy and life. I plan to continue doing that. This FAQ should get you up to speed and hopefully answer most of your questions.

Q: When are you due?
A: September 30, but my OB said that as long as everything is OK at 39 weeks, he'll induce. So there should be a baby before the end of September.

Q: So that means you're how many weeks along?!?
A: Almost 23. Yep, we kept this news under our hats for quite a while.

Q: So do you know if you're having a boy or a girl?
A: A girl. Multiple ultrasounds have been conclusively interpreted by multiple experienced medical professionals.

Q: Have you picked out a name?
A: Matt and I have had multiple girls' names picked out for years. However, previous experience has made us reluctant to give unborn children names that we want our children to carry all their lives. So we are not giving our daughter a name until she's born. Until then, we are calling her Elsie. Let me repeat, HER NAME IS NOT ELSIE. That's just what we're calling her until she gets her permanent name.

Q: Is everything OK with the baby?
A: Yes. In fact, just to be safe, our regular OB sent us to a fetal medicine specialist in Louisville. The specialist used his extra-good ultrasound equipment twice to check every inch of the baby as well as the insertion points of the umbilical cord in both the baby and the placenta. The umbilical cord is attached properly and has proper blood flow. The baby has all her parts and is a proper size, currently just over a pound and in the 52nd percentile. And even my blood pressure has been perfect this time.

She has become noticeably active over the last week. So far triggers of significant action have been the Star Trek: Into Darkness soundtrack, barbecue, Ethiopian food, and her father talking about board games. Yep, she's our daughter all right. :)

Q: How have you felt?
A: Other than some nausea caused by the prenatal vitamin, which went away when I switched vitamins, I've felt good. Occasionally, I'm a little tired, and I need to pee frequently, but I'm doing well.

Q: Is it OK to tell people that you're pregnant?
A: Talk to whoever you want as long as it's not me. :)