Since our last OB appointment, I've been talking to Neil about gaining weight before his next ultrasound. Our goal was half a pound, and today we learned he gained exactly half a pound. Way to go, Neil! He's now 4 lbs. 1 oz. In addition to taking measurements, they did a Bio-Physical Profile (BPP). According to WebMD, a BPP "measures your baby's heartrate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of amniotic fluid around your baby." His heartrate was a solid 154. I ate peanut M&Ms during the ultrasound, so he moved around. He was practicing his breathing. And my fluid jumped from an 8 last time to a 20 (I'm not sure what the unit of measurement is). BPP passed with flying colors! Way to go, Neil! I also learned that the urine and blood testing from last week was all normal. Way to go, me!
HOWEVER, my blood pressure was 142/87. I've considered that it might be lower if Matt were with me. My appointment today had to be scheduled at a time when he couldn't come. And even though he gained half a pound in a little over a week, Neil's size slipped in the percentiles a bit more. He's now three weeks behind. So the doctor wants to see us twice a week to monitor my blood pressure and Neil's BPP. We go back on Monday.
The doctor said I'm not supposed to worry until he's worried, and he's not worried yet. I asked him why he thinks Neil is small. He said there are multiple factors, the first of which is that Neil is just a small baby. My size and blood pressure are also possible factors. After mashing around on my abdomen, he also said that Neil feels bigger than the 4 pounds the ultrasound says and that he trusts his hands more than the ultrasound. All of that made me feel a bit better.
The scary part is that if Neil and I don't show significant progress, they'll want to induce labor. I kind of feel like once they mention induction and schedule frequent visits to monitor you, they'll find a reason to induce. So I went to Walmart after my appointment and bought a package of preemie diapers and a $1 clearance preemie outfit, both of which I will keep in the car with the receipt and hope that I will return them because we won't need them. Installing the car seat and packing my hospital bag have also climbed much higher on my to-do list just in case. Being pro-active makes me feel better. It's better than worrying.
My other two fears are 1) that some sort of birth defect is also a factor in Neil's small size and 2) that they'll find a reason to whisk him off to a NICU in Louisville because he's small. I want my baby to be normal (even if small) and to stay with me. I don't consciously think about them often, but they're in the back of my mind.
So I have begun talking to Neil about what we have to do to convince the doctors that we're OK. I'm going to watch my sodium intake and try to get more exercise to help my blood pressure. Neil is going to continue to put on half a pound a week. We're going to practice our breathing together, too. He needs the practice for his BPP, and some meditative breathing might help my blood pressure. I'm also going to drink plenty of water to keep my fluids up and eat yummy foods that make Neil dance and improve his muscle tone. Unfortunately, the low sodium goal and the yummy food goal are kind of at odds.
I've also asked Matt to take care of me tonight. I feel like I need a little TLC. He asked what I had in mind, and I told him hugs, kisses and a meal I don't have to cook. I'll probably also try to get a warm bath an a massage out of it. Tomorrow, I'll have to get back to my to-do list, but tonight I think I'll light a few gardenia candles while I bathe; the mildew on the caulking isn't so visible in candle light. :)
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