8:02 a.m.
I arrived at the doctor's office and picked up my lab orders. I'm the only patient here, so I should be able to get in quickly. That will probably be the only quick thing about this morning. I ate half a peanut butter sandwich, a few apple slices, and some milk at 11:15 last night. At this point I've been fasting 8.5 hours.
8:10
First blood draw is done, and orange flavored glucose water was consumed. The lab lady asked what I scored the first time. When I told her 137, she looked at me funny. I asked if that was bad. She said that it's a passing score. I thought 125 was the cut off, but it's 139 for pregnant women. She thought I must not have been told the right number, so she checked my file. Sure enough, I scored 137, two points below the cut off. I PASSED THE 1-HOUR BLOOD GLUCOSE TEST!!! I knew this would happen! I knew that if I was anywhere close to the line, I'd have to do the 3-hour test! And it happened. Ugh! The lab lady tried to make it sound like this was normal and due diligence, but the look on her face when I told her my score leads me to believe that having me do this 3-hour test is unusually cautious. Now I'm feeling grumpy as well as tired. Fortunately, I'm not yet hungry.
8:35
I am also now feeling nauseated. The spike in blood sugar on an empty stomach is making me feel ick. I'm not sure what will happen if I throw up. I'm not sure if they'll make me drink again or tell me to come home another day. NOT GOING TO VOMIT! I'm looking up anti-nausea pressure points. I don't know if it will work, but it's worth a try, and I don't have many options available.
8:50
A couple of ladies just sat down next to me with breakfast from McDonalds. It's a good thing I'm not yet hungry. If they did that a couple hours from now, I might have to be restrained. The nausea is better, but I'm belching orange-flavored glucose water. My stomach is not exactly settled.
9:10
Second blood draw is done.
9:45
Starting to get hungry. Fortunately, I'm about halfway through the test. I've got leftover peanut putter sandwich and apple slices for after the test. That will at least hold me until I can pick up some KFC on the way home. Looking forward to it while trying not to think about it.
I bought some post-Valentine's clearance chocolates yesterday. We'll break those out tonight to celebrate my completing the blood glucose testing gauntlet. I was that confident about passing this one. Even more so now that I know I passed the last one.
I've been passing the time by reading things on Facebook, typing this blog entry, or reading Over Sea, Under Stone by Susan Cooper. It's the first book of a series that includes a Newberry Honor Book and a Newberry Winner. I may end up writing another blog about Lucy while I'm here.
10:25
Third blood draw is done. She switched to the other arm because the first first arm had a tiny bruise after being stuck twice and the vein was feeling squishy.
Alia, who has watched Lucy a few times on campus, is coming to our house this morning to watch Lucy. Matt is skipping office hours, and I'll try to get home as soon as possible, but we were afraid there would be 15-30 minutes between parents, which is not acceptable when caring for a two year old. If she were ten, we'd be OK, but she's two, and so we got a baby sitter. It didn't seem worth Alia's time for me to ask her to come for only half an hour, so she's going to be there an hour and a half. Matt will be able to get ready without watching Lucy. I don't have to hurry quite as much. Lucy gets a playmate, and Alia (who graduated in December with a theater degree) gets a little spending money. It's working for all of us. Alia is adopted family to Susie, and Susie is adopted family to us, so Alia is extended adopted family.
Emmie has been quiet but not exactly still this morning. She kicks enough to let me know she's OK. I expect her to perk up when we get to eat again. One more hour to go!
11:20
All done! The lab lady told me it was nice to do a 3-hour glucose test with someone pleasant. There was no reason to be unpleasant with her. It's not her fault that I had to get up early, fast for 12 hours, sit around a waiting room for three hours, and have blood taken from both arms a total of 4 times. That's Dr. Reynolds' fault.
12:05 p.m.
Home at last! Lucy had a good morning with Alia. Lucy wanted lots of hugs when I got home and talked to me about how mommy went to the doctor outside in the beep. I was gone when she woke up, so this story is how she made sense of her life this morning. On the way out of Lebanon, I stopped at KFC for some food. I had eaten half a peanut butter sandwich and some apple slices within minutes of ending my test, but I knew I needed something more. I also stopped for a chocolate sundae cone, which I ate on the road. I was crazy hungry.
7:00 p.m.
I just got up from a two-hour nap. I was exhausted. After lunch, I played with Lucy and continued to eat anything that looked good. I didn't overdo it. But I ate a couple handfuls of apple cinnamon Cheerios before my nap and just had some shredded mozzarella from the bag while prepping a frozen pizza for supper. It's been a long day. I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep and a slower day tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
Let's Try That Again
I failed the one-hour blood glucose test just as I did when I was pregnant with Lucy. I've scheduled a babysitter to keep Lucy next Tuesday so that I can take the 3-hour blood glucose test. It's no fun at all. I really have to make sure I get that 11:30 p.m. snack because I won't be able to eat until after 11 a.m. I expect to pass the 3-hour one as I did when I was pregnant with Lucy. I'd hate to have another complication to add to my advanced maternal age and short, soft cervix. Every new problem ratchets up the subconscious stress that becomes conscious when I get too tired, which I have been lately.
Lucy has been a handful for the last 24 hours. More than once I've been in a situation where she refuses to do what I ask or command even when I offer reason and/or incentives. She is 2 after all. In the past, I probably would have physically removed her from a situation, which tends to move her past her stubbornness and reset the situation. But I can't move her without risking straining myself. It leaves me feeling kind of helpless. Today she refused to go down the attic stairs, and I couldn't get past her or carry her down. And then I started getting light headed. And so I sat down on a step and cried. Lucy said "Mommy sad" and laid her head on my lap, which was sweet but unhelpful. I told her I was frustrated because I was trying to keep us safe, but I couldn't keep us safe if she wouldn't go down the steps like I asked her to. That didn't convince her. Eventually, she saw something on a lower step that she wanted and went down a few steps. Then she stood up to put her hat on, which sometimes knocks her over even when she's not standing on stairs, so I took away the hat and threw it to the hallway at the bottom of the stairs to give her a reason to go down. It didn't work. She sat down on a step and cried and said, "Me sad." I explained why I did it and pointed out she could have the hat if she would just go downstairs. That didn't help. She just had to be sad for a little while, which still left me stranded on the stairs. After a while, she went down a few more steps and got to within three steps from the bottom. By this point I really needed to go to the bathroom, so I held her arm and guided her her down. I didn't lift her, but I man-handled her a bit. I didn't want to do that higher on the stairs because if I had lost my grip she would have fallen down the stairs. I decided she'd probably be OK if she fell down only two steps. Fortunately, she didn't fall. She wasn't happy with me, but I was really glad to be off of the steps.
When I feel helpless, I wonder if spanking would get better results. I know that in the moment, it would not make the situation better. She would sit down and cry, and I'm pretty sure being hit my mommy would make her more sad than having mommy throw her hat down the stairs. I'd still be on the stairs if I'd spanked her. I don't want her to bury that sadness and get used to mommy hitting her. That's horrible. So I wouldn't want to spank her for anything less than something dangerous. Associating a dangerous situation with fear and pain wouldn't necessarily be bad. My appeal to safety would be more persuasive if she had a better understanding of risk and fear, but she's two and made of rubber. But spanking her in unsafe situations doesn't necessarily make the situation safer in the moment, which is more important than teaching a lesson. And spanking after the danger has passed would associate safety after danger with pain and fear. That's not what I want either. But let's be honest, part of the reason that spanking occurs to me when I feel helpless is because I want to do something and I feel angry that a child has made me feel helpless. Hitting Lucy would satisfy that angry part of me for a second. But hitting out of anger is definitely not OK. It's not good for her or me. So I'll just have to be the adult and deal with the frustration and anger of feeling helpless. And I'll keep thinking of ways to get Lucy to comply quickly in dangerous situations.
Well, that post departed sharply from blood glucose testing. I guess it's all about my mental state. I'll feel better with more sleep, which I plan to get this weekend.
Lucy has been a handful for the last 24 hours. More than once I've been in a situation where she refuses to do what I ask or command even when I offer reason and/or incentives. She is 2 after all. In the past, I probably would have physically removed her from a situation, which tends to move her past her stubbornness and reset the situation. But I can't move her without risking straining myself. It leaves me feeling kind of helpless. Today she refused to go down the attic stairs, and I couldn't get past her or carry her down. And then I started getting light headed. And so I sat down on a step and cried. Lucy said "Mommy sad" and laid her head on my lap, which was sweet but unhelpful. I told her I was frustrated because I was trying to keep us safe, but I couldn't keep us safe if she wouldn't go down the steps like I asked her to. That didn't convince her. Eventually, she saw something on a lower step that she wanted and went down a few steps. Then she stood up to put her hat on, which sometimes knocks her over even when she's not standing on stairs, so I took away the hat and threw it to the hallway at the bottom of the stairs to give her a reason to go down. It didn't work. She sat down on a step and cried and said, "Me sad." I explained why I did it and pointed out she could have the hat if she would just go downstairs. That didn't help. She just had to be sad for a little while, which still left me stranded on the stairs. After a while, she went down a few more steps and got to within three steps from the bottom. By this point I really needed to go to the bathroom, so I held her arm and guided her her down. I didn't lift her, but I man-handled her a bit. I didn't want to do that higher on the stairs because if I had lost my grip she would have fallen down the stairs. I decided she'd probably be OK if she fell down only two steps. Fortunately, she didn't fall. She wasn't happy with me, but I was really glad to be off of the steps.
When I feel helpless, I wonder if spanking would get better results. I know that in the moment, it would not make the situation better. She would sit down and cry, and I'm pretty sure being hit my mommy would make her more sad than having mommy throw her hat down the stairs. I'd still be on the stairs if I'd spanked her. I don't want her to bury that sadness and get used to mommy hitting her. That's horrible. So I wouldn't want to spank her for anything less than something dangerous. Associating a dangerous situation with fear and pain wouldn't necessarily be bad. My appeal to safety would be more persuasive if she had a better understanding of risk and fear, but she's two and made of rubber. But spanking her in unsafe situations doesn't necessarily make the situation safer in the moment, which is more important than teaching a lesson. And spanking after the danger has passed would associate safety after danger with pain and fear. That's not what I want either. But let's be honest, part of the reason that spanking occurs to me when I feel helpless is because I want to do something and I feel angry that a child has made me feel helpless. Hitting Lucy would satisfy that angry part of me for a second. But hitting out of anger is definitely not OK. It's not good for her or me. So I'll just have to be the adult and deal with the frustration and anger of feeling helpless. And I'll keep thinking of ways to get Lucy to comply quickly in dangerous situations.
Well, that post departed sharply from blood glucose testing. I guess it's all about my mental state. I'll feel better with more sleep, which I plan to get this weekend.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
She Really Is This Interesting
I feel like I've posted more about Lucy in the last few months than in the preceding year. But I've realized it's because she's growing and changing and learning so quickly. I mean, she spent months and months walking and babbling. Now she's adding new words to her vocabulary and new skills DAILY. Here's a sample of what she's done just in the last week.
She started using past tense verbs. She very clearly said "Me jumped" instead of "Me jump" after jumping off of a box that I told her not to jump off of. We were proud of the linguistic leap, not so proud of the disobedience. We don't expect progress in all areas at the same time.
She got into the silverware drawer and got herself a spoon to eat yogurt. This was an improvement over chucking yogurt at me to let me know she was hungry. I had thought that she was too short to get into the silverware drawer. Boy was I surprised! What was even better was that she didn't just get yogurt for herself. She also got one for me and had it sitting at my place at the table. She had tried to reach a spoon for me, too, but it was too far back in the drawer.
She has started saying my and mine instead of me. She doesn't do it all the time, but she has shown she knows how to use possessive pronouns.
She spontaneously counted three baked potatoes as I took them out of the oven. It's the highest she's counted, and she did it without being prompted.
She has started playing "near and far" with Daddy in the study. It took a couple of minutes to figure out what she was doing because she had never said near or far before. She runs up to him and says "near" and then runs to the other side of the room and says "far." She then repeats this several times and thinks it's a fun game. I used to play something similar with her in the swimming pool when she was very little, but that's been a while.
Her vocabulary has allowed her to talk about rockets that go into space, "up, up a moon" when she plays with her toy cars, trains, and planes. She likes to talk about her remote control (which sounds like "a moat troll") that doesn't do anything because it goes with a now-defunct stereo. Yesterday she spill(ed) water ("ice") on the floor and needed to wipe it to clean it. I was also impressed that she took responsibility for her small mess and wanted to clean it up.
She is describing things by naming color as she talks about them. For example, she'll request the green dup (cup). The color is now an important attribute. She still refuses to say "yellow" and "purple" although she can correctly point to things that are yellow and purple if you ask (and she's in the mood to perform).
She also has told us brief stories about things that have happened to her. For example, one time she was outside in the snow throw(ing) snowballs and fall (fell) on her back. She talks about the "rahr on dat feevee," which is an animated tiger on a law office TV commercial that always scares her.
She has a couple of times told me that characters on TV or in books were sad. She recognizes the emotion in others, which is perhaps proto-empathy.
She is answering questions about what happens in the books and not just naming things in pictures, and it's not just BooBoo anymore. Tonight she was telling me about how rabbit and mouse fry (fly) a plane and crash tree in My Friend Rabbit, a book that we read for the first time a few days ago.
She did all of this in the last week, and that's just what I can remember. It's a lot of fun to interact with her and see what she'll do next. Every once in a while she'll say something unexpected, and I'll hug her and tell her "I love to hear your words." She is very quickly growing into a caring, responsible, articulate little girl.
She started using past tense verbs. She very clearly said "Me jumped" instead of "Me jump" after jumping off of a box that I told her not to jump off of. We were proud of the linguistic leap, not so proud of the disobedience. We don't expect progress in all areas at the same time.
She got into the silverware drawer and got herself a spoon to eat yogurt. This was an improvement over chucking yogurt at me to let me know she was hungry. I had thought that she was too short to get into the silverware drawer. Boy was I surprised! What was even better was that she didn't just get yogurt for herself. She also got one for me and had it sitting at my place at the table. She had tried to reach a spoon for me, too, but it was too far back in the drawer.
She has started saying my and mine instead of me. She doesn't do it all the time, but she has shown she knows how to use possessive pronouns.
She spontaneously counted three baked potatoes as I took them out of the oven. It's the highest she's counted, and she did it without being prompted.
She has started playing "near and far" with Daddy in the study. It took a couple of minutes to figure out what she was doing because she had never said near or far before. She runs up to him and says "near" and then runs to the other side of the room and says "far." She then repeats this several times and thinks it's a fun game. I used to play something similar with her in the swimming pool when she was very little, but that's been a while.
Her vocabulary has allowed her to talk about rockets that go into space, "up, up a moon" when she plays with her toy cars, trains, and planes. She likes to talk about her remote control (which sounds like "a moat troll") that doesn't do anything because it goes with a now-defunct stereo. Yesterday she spill(ed) water ("ice") on the floor and needed to wipe it to clean it. I was also impressed that she took responsibility for her small mess and wanted to clean it up.
She is describing things by naming color as she talks about them. For example, she'll request the green dup (cup). The color is now an important attribute. She still refuses to say "yellow" and "purple" although she can correctly point to things that are yellow and purple if you ask (and she's in the mood to perform).
She also has told us brief stories about things that have happened to her. For example, one time she was outside in the snow throw(ing) snowballs and fall (fell) on her back. She talks about the "rahr on dat feevee," which is an animated tiger on a law office TV commercial that always scares her.
She has a couple of times told me that characters on TV or in books were sad. She recognizes the emotion in others, which is perhaps proto-empathy.
She is answering questions about what happens in the books and not just naming things in pictures, and it's not just BooBoo anymore. Tonight she was telling me about how rabbit and mouse fry (fly) a plane and crash tree in My Friend Rabbit, a book that we read for the first time a few days ago.
She did all of this in the last week, and that's just what I can remember. It's a lot of fun to interact with her and see what she'll do next. Every once in a while she'll say something unexpected, and I'll hug her and tell her "I love to hear your words." She is very quickly growing into a caring, responsible, articulate little girl.
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